


Illicit Affairs

by mrshotchner



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Praise Kink, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Smut, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:48:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29199381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrshotchner/pseuds/mrshotchner
Summary: Love is always unexpected, and usually difficult. Aaron Hotchner knows something about difficult relationships, his track record isn’t great. That is, until he meets you, a young and aspiring agent who joins the BAU.Or the one where Aaron Hotchner is basically Derek Shepherd and you, the reader, are Meredith Grey. Except in the bureau instead of a hospital lol.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Comments: 21
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been with me for a longggg time so i’m giving it a go, my apologies if my writing isn’t top notch, i haven’t written anything in years!

Your head spins a little. The BAU. You got into the BAU. You remember all the statistics, the huge numbers of applicants with qualifications the same as yours, if not better. Your mind immediately drifts back to your interview, the application process had been long and hard so by the time the interview rolled around, you hadn't had your hopes up very high. You remember the feeling, you had felt so intimidated yet at home all at once. Agent Morgan had cracked a joke almost straight away.

"JJ, looks like you've got competition for the prettiest face in the bureau."

You laughed, slightly nervously but it made you feel more at home. You had done your research, of course. Agent Rossi, the accomplished author and master profiler, welcomed you with a small smile and cock of the eyebrow and you swore he seemed impressed as he looked through your resumé. Agent Morgan, the muscly profiler with a natural charisma simply acted as though you'd known each other for years but you knew he could have a serious streak when needed, when it mattered.. which is what he showed as he took his turn looking through your qualifications. Agent Jareau, who wasn't actually a profiler but could definitely be regarded as the face of the BAU due to her media liaison status, was warm and welcoming but quiet. She smiled and although the smile was small, it was kind and it's almost like the warmth radiated from her. Penelope Garcia, the quirky tech analyst had a bit of a sour face from the moment Agent Morgan called you pretty, but then you smiled at her and she gave a little smile back. It was then you knew, you could win her over. Dr Reid, the genius mastermind who lacked social skills started spewing facts and statistics and you swore he seemed nervous, this suspicion confirmed by Agent Morgan teasing him because 'pretty boy is nervous of talking to a pretty girl' and you just chuckled, not wanting to be impolite. Agent Prentiss.. her political background, her intense stare.. she intimidated you, which was probably her tactic. She asked a lot of questions about you and your background but she seemed satisfied with your answers, even cracking a small smile.

And then there was Agent Hotchner, the unit chief. He was stern and his face perfectly controlled, not giving anything away. You wondered if he was always this serious, maybe it came with the territory. He stared you down and you would've given anything to know what he was thinking. His poker face remained for the whole interview, even as he thanked you and said he'd be in touch. Not even a sprinkle of emotion visible. You had gone home after the interview and you had no clue what would happen next, it had gone well, of course, but with the sheer amount of applicants.. what were the chances? Well, it appears your chances were good..

-

The minute the interview ended, all the team had to do was exchange one look and they knew. They knew that no matter who walked through the door afterwards, no one would fit quite like you. Aaron took a sharp breath, he had been more nervous during that interview than ever before. He wanted to remain professional. He needed to remain professional. But it was hard, he wanted to stop you there and tell you the job was yours. But he couldn't. If he did, the team would just start profiling him as to why he wanted this specific young woman on the team. He shook off his nerves and made a mental pact with himself that he was going to just sit through the other interviews and keep his steely exterior.. and certainly stop thinking about the passionate young woman from the interview. However, as he sat there and tried his best to appear focused, his mind kept drifting to you. Y/N.. your name suited you perfectly, he thought to himself. He thought about your smile, the way you answered questions with confidence and a poise about you that not many young people have anymore. He was brought back to the conference room by Rossi clicking his fingers in front of his face and when Hotch appeared as though he was dragged back into reality, Rossi chuckled. He knew what he was thinking about, or rather who he was thinking about. Rossi might be the only one on the team who could tell what Hotch was thinking.

"So.. who's joining our team?" Morgan asked with a slightly suggestive tone in his voice. He knew the answer, everyone knew the answer. The team exchanged one more of their earlier looks before Hotch spoke.

"I'll call her."

And that was it.

-

Your first few days at work were fumbly, at best, as you tried to find your feet in the bureau. The FBI Academy doesn't quite do the BAU justice, it's a busy section of the FBI. You were shown to your desk on the first day and you were glad to find out you were almost directly next to Agent Morgan, he was probably the most welcoming. While the first few days were slow, that quickly changed at the beginning of your second week in the bureau when JJ stood at the banister looking down into the bullpen.

"We have a case."

There were no words quite as exhilarating as those four words. Your first case with the bureau, you needed to prove yourself, you knew that. Everyone began to hustle into the conference room and sit around the round table. The last time you had sat here, you were one of thousands of nervous applicants.. Now, you were Agent Y/L/N. You smiled to yourself ever so slightly before focusing on JJ as Agent Hotchner encouraged her to start presenting the case.

"There's been three victims already. All were prostitutes found tied up, stabbed multiple times and left in the depths of forests.." JJ began to present the case as everyone looked at the files in front of them, you began to look through the files also, making sure to split your attention between the comments the team made and your own thoughts on the case.

"Looks like we're flying to Vegas. Wheels up in 30."  
Agent Hotchner nodded sharply as he began to stand up and gather his files. Everyone else quickly left the room to get their go bags and get prepared for the flight. "Agent Y/L/N." Agent Hotchner's voice stopped you from going out the door.

"Yes, Agent Hotchner?" You turned around to look at him.

"Have you got a go bag prepared?" He asked, his voice ever so slightly softer than when he spoke previously and of course you noticed this slight change.

"Oh, yeah, of course. I'm ready to go, sir." You nodded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

You could've sworn the corner of his lips turned up ever so slightly before he spoke. "That's good. Let's see what you can do in the field." He nodded again and you took that as your cue to leave, but his voice stopped you again. "You know, you can call me Hotch. Everyone else does."

You offered a small smile. "Well, see you on the plane, Hotch." And with that you left, grabbing your go bag and tidying away some of the files from your desk in the bullpen as your heart beat quickened in your chest but your mind didn't go to the case, it went to the strictly serious unit chief who you had just left standing at the round table.

-

You didn't realize quite how nice the BAU private jet would be. Sure, you knew the team was well financed but it's not like your own salary was huge. As you walked onto the jet you tried to mask your amazement however clearly you did a bad job, or maybe Aaron Hotchner is just that good at profiling.

Without looking up from the papers he was inspecting, he spoke "You're allowed to be impressed." At first you weren't sure he was talking to you, but of course he was. You chuckled.

"Right, yeah. This is nicer than I thought it would be." You nodded slowly and sat down in the seat across from Agent Hotchner, Hotch.. that's what he asked you to call him. Hotch.

"We fly a lot, so comfort is necessary." Hotch still hadn't looked up from his files. You nod, and you're not sure if he's seen you until he glances up at you, his eyes meeting yours for what feels like hours but was probably closer to split seconds and then he just looks back down at the files without another word. Your throat seems to have gone slightly dry so you swallow and look up at the seat beside you right as Morgan sits down. He offers you a small smile which you return and feel your heartbeat return to normal.

The rest of the flight goes quickly as you join in on the teams discussion regarding the case. A couple of minutes before landing, Hotch organizes the team.

"Morgan, you and Reid go to meet with the M.E. Rossi and Prentiss go to the most recent crime scene. Y/N, you'll come with me and JJ to coordinate with the local police department." He spoke and all you can find yourself focusing on is his deep, gravelly voice. You must've gotten very lost in your thoughts because Morgan ended up clicking his fingers in front of your face.

"Hello, earth to Y/N." He chuckled and shook his head a little which brought a slight blush to your cheeks.

"Sorry." You smiled sheepishly, glancing at Hotch. Your eyes meet again except this time you look away quickly, not allowing yourself to get flustered again.

-

Once the plane landed, everyone dispersed almost immediately to do the tasks that Hotch assigned. You walked inside the precinct with him and JJ, immediately being greeted by the head of the department.

"Hello, I'm Officer Cadence, you must be from the FBI." The older man greeted, shaking hands with all three of you.

"I'm Agent Hotchner, and this is Agent Y/L/N. I believe you spoke with Agent Jareau on the phone." Hotch introduced you, and the man nodded.

"Of course, yes." The man began walking. "Your team can set up in here, and i'll have one of my men bring by the files we have on this case so far." He spoke as he led us to a fairly large and well-lit conference room. Hotch thanked him and nodded slightly, turning to you and JJ.

"JJ, I think you should go see if you can control the press. I'm sure this case will be broadcast just about everywhere at this stage however we need to try and stop it from spreading like wildfire." Hotch kept his serious, steely exterior. You felt a small shiver dance down your spine at the thought of JJ going off and you being left alone with the man you found yourself unable to stop thinking about.

"Yeah.. I'll see what I can do. I have a few contacts I can reach out to." The young blonde nodded before heading out the doors, already beginning to speak to just about anyone she could find. That woman was small but mighty. You almost laughed to yourself, however you were broken out of your thoughts by the ringer of Hotch's phone.

"Morgan, what did you find?" He put the phone on loudspeaker and set it down between you two.

"The M.E. has managed to identify the most recent two victims. The first one is still unidentified." Morgan sighed lightly into the phone.

You spoke up. "Send us their names and we'll get Garcia to look into background info." You could've sworn Hotch smiled slightly, but you must've been seeing things.

"Took the words out of my mouth, Y/L/N." Hotch nodded.

"We're on that right now. There's another thing.." Morgan paused. "The victims all have ligature marks on their wrists and ankles."

It was Hotch's turn to sigh. "Alright Morgan. Come back here once you're done." He hung up the phone.

"So, what do the ligature marks mean in this case?" Your question was almost rhetorical as you looked over at Hotch, but he answered anyway.

"Well, it means we're certainly not dealing with a spree killer. He holds them for a period of time before killing them." Hotch looked over some of the files and photos of the bodies.

"It also means we're most likely not dealing with a vigilante. He wouldn't go through this much trouble, he would kill them straight away." You added, to which Hotch nodded and didn't say anything else, so you continue. "That means he's most likely a sexual sadist. Is there any sign of sexual assault on the victims?" You glance at Hotch as he uses his iPad to look over the M.E. reports Morgan and Reid sent over. Maybe you were trying to show off a bit, but it couldn't hurt. You wanted to prove yourself in the field. Hotch shook his head.

"No sign of sexual assault." He kept his answers short, letting you show him what you can do.

You think for a moment before speaking up again. "He's stabbing them. That's what gives him the sexual release. Maybe he's impotent?" You question and Hotch nods.

"Good job, Y/L/N." 

You swear he's about to say something else but you're both interrupted by Prentiss and Rossi who had come back from the latest crime scene, or rather dump site.

"Those woods are tricky. He would have to know his way around." Prentiss stated.

Rossi nodded, before adding on "It's likely he grew up here." You and Hotch both nodded to that.

"We got a call from Morgan. The victims have ligature marks on their wrists and ankles, but no sign of sexual assault." You fill them in while Hotch glances over the M.E. reports.

"Two of the victims have been identified. I emailed their names to Garcia and she's looking into it now. Agent Y/L/N has deduced that our unsub is a sexual sadist who is possibly impotent." Hotch's voice returns to its monotone, everyday way of being. Prentiss nods.

"Well, let's see what Reid can do with a geographical profile when he returns." She sighs softly as she speaks, glancing at you and offering you a small smile, realizing how hard cases can be on young profilers. You gladly accept the gesture and offer a smile back.

-

The rest of the case goes relatively quickly. With all of the team's brains put together, you play a key role in finding the unsub. He was a fairly young man, 26 years old and he had a deep hatred for prostitutes, specifically brunette ones, as his mother had been a prostitute while he was growing up and the emotional scars had sent him into a spiral. Emotional scars, you certainly knew something about that.

You sigh as you settle into your seat on the jet, letting your body relax against the comfortable leather seats. You see someone sit beside you of of the corner of your eye.

"Hey kid. How are you doing?" Rossi smiled ever so slightly. It was nice of him to check in like that. You nodded slightly.

"I'm okay. Thanks, Rossi. That was a pretty good ending to my first case with the bureau, I think." You smile back, maybe a little tiredly. Now it's his turn to nod.

"Yeah, if only they could all end like that." He sighs softly, but you don't push him any further than that. 

The rest of the jet ride is uneventful, Hotch is already doing some paperwork and you can't help getting lost in your thoughts as you watch him. He probably overworks himself so much, maybe he has a wife to go home to. A weird feeling travels down to your stomach at the thought of Hotch being married and you don't know why. You shake it off, not allowing yourself to look further into it. You're fairly good at compartmentalizing, you deduce, and spend the rest of the flight catching up on your sleep with a power nap. 

Everyone heads back to the office after the jet lands, some have paperwork and others simply just want to drop something off, however everyone manages to leave fairly quickly. Except for Hotch, of course. You're about to leave as he calls you into his office.

"Yes, sir?" You speak softly as you walk into the office.

"Good job in the field today, Agent Y/L/N." He keeps it short and sweet, but you smile at him anyway.

"Thank you. Is that all?" You ask, not exactly eager to leave but not wanting to prolong Hotch's work hours. He nods.

"Yes, that's all." He almost looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn't. So you leave and drive yourself home, entering the lobby of your apartment with a quick hello to the doorman and heading straight to the elevators. Once you make your way inside the apartment, it's dark and a little cold and you find yourself shivering slightly. You sigh and turn on some lights, hoping to chase away the slightly eerie feeling that made its way down your spine. You set your phone down to charge while you shower, throwing your go bag on the floor before you do and making a mental note to unpack that as soon as you can. The hot water feels amazing as it rolls down your body, you didn't realize quite how good a shower could feel. Once your body is clean and your hair is shampooed and conditioned, you head back into your bedroom and put on a silk pajama set, slipping in between the covers. You pick up your phone to give it a check over before you sleep but the text that came in a little while earlier startles you.

'You didn't think you could just run like that, did you?' Along with a picture of you entering your apartment building. Immediately, you feel a little colder.

-  
Back with a bang! This concept is one i've been toying with for so so long and i decided i just had to write it eventually. I'm hoping to make this story quite long but i'm not sure how i'll actually get on! :/ I know it's been a while since i've been on here, and i do apologize. <3


	2. Highway Don’t Care

A couple of weeks had passed since your first case with the BAU, and there hadn't been any more unsettling texts so you tried your best to forget about it. After all, maybe it was just a stupid prank. However you couldn't stop your heart from beating just a little faster any time you thought about it.

As for cases, there had been a few more and each time it seemed as though you were proving yourself more and more. You got along well with the team which made working with them easier and within these few weeks it felt like you had simply been there forever. Everything was just natural.

You knocked on the door of Hotch's office, entering once you heard his voice softly say;

"Come in."

You smile softly as you walk inside.

"I brought that report from yesterday." You place the file on his desk gently.

"You know, Y/N, you didn't have to do that today." He raises an eyebrow.

You nod and chuckle softly, "I know, Hotch. But if I get these things done quickly then you can go through it quicker and you're left with less work when the rest of the team hand theirs in."

It's his turn to chuckle. "Yes, this is true."

"Sooo.. you could just say thank you and not argue with me." You wink as you make your way back out of his office and down to your desk in the bullpen. You and Hotch had gotten especially close, it was nice. You didn't know much about him but you could tell he just.. needed someone to be there for him, and god, you were certainly happy to fill that role.

-

Your first time out for drinks with the team followed the next case. You almost let your nerves get the best of you. Sure, you and the team got along perfectly at work and in the field.. But this was different, you weren't at work. You were all just simply people going out for drinks together.

Picking out your outfit had been a bit of a disaster, you weren't sure how casual this outing actually was. Eventually, you managed to decide on a pair of black skinny jeans and a v neck top with a little frill, along with some heels. Heels were certainly your preferred shoe, even at work. Emily was picking you up and you really didn't want to hold her up so you settled on natural makeup with just your eyes being slightly darker than usual and your natural hair. You met her outside your apartment and got into her car.

"Y/N! You look amazing!" She smiled, you took a look at her outfit and chuckled softly.

"Look who's talking, Prentiss." You winked and she shook her head a little.

"You flirt. And wow, your place is nice!" She raised her eyebrows slightly.

"Thanks." You smile, but don't elaborate and she doesn't push. That's why you got along so well with Emily, both of you were there to listen to each other when necessary but neither of you pushed or pried.

The bar you were meeting at, O'Keefe's, was only a couple of blocks away from your apartment so you arrived fairly quickly. You probably could've just walked, but there was a slight chill in the air and it was dark so you didn't want to risk it.

You and Emily made your way inside and found the rest of the team, everyone welcoming you two. You noticed Garcia was already probably two drinks in as her and Morgan bickered about something random. Rossi was sipping on his drink and engaging in casual conversation with JJ and Hotch, who both had their drink of choice in their hand, while Reid didn't look like he drank anything yet, but was engaging in conversation anyway. You slip into the booth beside Hotch.

"Hey." You smile as you make eye contact with him.

"Hi." He even offers a smile and you feel your heart start to race. If you were to be completely honest with yourself, you definitely had a crush on Aaron Hotchner. But you didn't want to be honest with yourself, so you compartmentalized your feelings and stuck to casual flirting.. could you even call it flirting? You shook the thought off.

"I wasn't sure if you were even going to come today, thought you might be doing paperwork." You teased jokingly, keeping your voice slightly soft and quiet as you talked to him. He chuckled, and a little shiver made its way down your spine.

"No, thanks to your early hand in I managed to get out on time." He took a sip of his drink. "You look beautiful, by the way."

Your breath hitches in your throat and for a second you have to remind yourself of how to breathe so you don't choke and solidify yourself a trip to A&E. God, that would be embarrassing. You manage to gather yourself and smile.

"Thank you, not too bad yourself, Hotchner." Smooth, Y/N, smooth.

He looks like he's about to say something else but then Emily and JJ interrupt by stumbling over with some shots, placing them on the table.

"EVERYONE is doing a shot, right. now." Prentiss slurs ever so slightly and you realize that whatever she drank while she was getting the shots with JJ must've been strong. You chuckle and shake your head lightly at her but grab a shot anyway. Clearly, everyone else decides that arguing against the shot is pointless and they follow suit. Once everyone has a shot, you all clink the glasses together gently and do the shots together. You pull a face as the alcohol makes it's way down your throat, leaving a small burning sensation. Reid pulls a face also and it's nice to know you're not alone in that. You notice that Hotch does the shot effortlessly, not even a hint of distaste on his face and you wonder how on earth he does that.

-

At some point during the night, you manage to get dragged out onto the dance floor with JJ, Emily and Garcia. The liquid courage clearly did its job as you all danced confidently. The music blares in your ears and for a couple of seconds, everything just feels stress free. You feel free.

Once you tire of the dancing, you abandon the three other women on the dance floor and return to the booth. In your absence, Morgan has disappeared and you notice him on the dance floor somewhere too with a girl, which only makes you chuckle slightly. Of course that's where he is. You slide in beside Hotch again, giggling in your slightly intoxicated state which makes him chuckle.

"Y/N, you're enjoying yourself." He raises an eyebrow and you nod enthusiastically.

"Yes, yes I most certainly am!" You grin, probably looking a bit like a cheshire cat. You realize that Rossi and Reid haven't even acknowledged your presence as they argue about something, sounds like darts.

"One more drink and I'm cutting you off." Hotch warns as you get lost in your drunken thoughts. You pout.

"No way! I'm only getting started babeeyyyyy." You shake your head and he laughs a little.

"No, no I'm definitely cutting you off soon." He shakes his head. Rossi and Reid both stand up.

"The kid thinks he can win a game of darts because it's all physics. I, am going to test that theory." Rossi chuckles as him and Reid make their way to the dart board, leaving you and Hotch alone.

You make eye contact with him and you swear it's like electricity is coursing through your body.

"Are you alright? You just shivered." His voice seems especially deep and gravelly today. You nod and pull your lip in between your teeth.

"Y-Yeah. I'm fine." You try to take a deep breath but it seems a bit shaky.

"Are you cold?" He raises an eyebrow, then without another word he grabs his blazer and puts it over your shoulders. Your jacket had been left in the cloak room and you had clearly overestimated how warm you'd be. You blush softly.

"Thank you, Hotch." You brush your fingers against his arm gently. He smiles slightly.

Meanwhile on the dance floor, Garcia had stopped in her tracks and stopped both JJ and Emily, smacking them on the arm lightly to get their attention.

"Look!" She exclaimed, directing their attention to you and Hotch, looking each other in the eye.. with your hand on his arm. And all three of the women on the dance floor smiled.

-

The BAU's next case was particularly tough, the ones involving children always were. What made this one especially frustrating was the lack of leads, the entire team was dumbstruck, why couldn't anyone come up with anything?

It was on day 5 in Montana that a lead eventually came in, but it didn't even seem to be a good one. Nonetheless, it was better than nothing. So you and Prentiss went to check it out. Apparently some guy had called in to the emergency services and said his next door neighbor had met the most recent missing child before, which meant he could maybe provide additional information. At least you really hoped he could.

Emily drove, she always did when it was the two of you. It was never a spoken agreement but it didn't need to be, you just automatically got into the passenger side every time. When you got there, you took a deep breath to steady yourself as you knocked on the door.

-

During your conversation with this man, you and Emily both noticed how sketchy he sounded. But, you had no reason for arrest and he did technically answer all the questions you had, just not very well. You both left his house a bit deflated and reluctant to just ignore all the telling signs of just how creepy this man was.

Whatever you two had said, seemed to be enough to scare the creep because right as you were about to get into the SUV, you heard some signs of a struggle around the back of the farm house. Without thinking, you ran straight to it, ignoring Emily shouting at you to wait. 

You managed to almost catch up with the unsub but then lost him as he headed in the direction of a barn, you didn't give it a second thought before rushing to the barn, going straight inside. Suddenly, all you felt was a sharp pain in the side of your head and your vision blurred before everything went black.

The next memory you have is waking up on the dirty floor as paramedics rushed over to you. It seemed as though Prentiss managed to catch up to you and apprehend the unsub along with calling for back up. You immediately tried to brush off the paramedics as they fussed over you, but after a stern look from Emily you went to the ambulance with them to get checked out anyway.

-

Hotch must've broken a speed limit or two getting to the farm house once Prentiss called for back up and said something had happened. He quickly got out of the SUV and walked straight over to Emily.

"Prentiss, what happened? Where's Y/N?" He looked at her intensely.

"She went after the unsub, he knocked her out. She's okay, she's awake and getting checked out." She explained and Hotch shook his head.

"She went after him alone? Is she stupid?" He frowned and Emily just sighed.

"I tried calling for her.. but, we saved the child." Prentiss knew Hotch was particularly frustrated by this situation simply because you had gotten hurt. Once she finished speaking, he bee-lined straight over to the ambulance where you now sat on the edge, a bandage on the side of your head.

"H-Hotch. Hi." You pull a face, knowing how unhappy he was just from the look on his face.

"Don't." He stops you. "How could you be so stupid and impulsive, Agent Y/L/N? You're lucky you're not seriously hurt, or worse." He shakes his head and you frown at him a little. Why was he so worked up over this?

"I did what I had to do to save that child. I won't apologize for doing my job." You sigh.

"No, you were reckless and that's a bad trait for an agent to have. I can't believe how childish you are." Hotch seemed really angry, you almost didn't know how to respond. Your own anger built a little, how dare he treat you like this?

"No I wasn't! Now if you're going to keep giving out to me can you please just save it? My head is throbbing." You shake your head now. He runs a hand through his hair before talking to the paramedics about your injuries as if you weren't there. Your concussion was somewhat bad as the unsub managed to hit you quite hard and you had a fairly deep graze on your arm from where you fell on a sharp stone but nothing was major or life threatening, Hotch was over reacting.

-

Once the unsub was arrested and the young child reunited with his family, the team headed back to the hotel for the last night before flying back early in the morning. JJ insisted on walking you to your room and waiting there while you showered just in case you didn't feel well in the shower and ended up hurting yourself more. As much as you protested against this, you appreciated it. You knew she just cared and wanted to make sure you were okay.

Once you came out of the shower, having not accidentally broke your bones in there she smiled at you. Your mind, however, was completely elsewhere. All you could think about was Hotch and his behavior.

"Okay now, Y/N, what's wrong?" She looked straight at you. For some reason, JJ was one person you could never lie to.

"It's just- I just- It's Hotch. He was so angry at me for doing what I did. I don't understand why he had to overreact like that. I'm sure that everyone on the team has done something similar before." You frown and shake your head. JJ laughs which just confuses you. "Why are you laughing?"

It's her turn to shake her head. "Are you blind? He cares about you." Your heart leaps at her words, but you ignore it.

"That's ridiculous. He just doesn't want irresponsible agents." You try to reason with her, but mostly you're just reasoning with yourself.

"No. I know Hotch, he's not like that with everyone, Y/N. There's feelings there. He doesn't want you to get hurt because he cares too much." She smiles softly again, standing up. "Don't worry about it, I know you care about him too." She adds, and with that she leaves your hotel room. 

You stand there, a little bit frozen, for what feels like hours but realistically it was likely a few minutes. Your head starts to hurt again so you get into the bed, trying to sleep and forget about the conversation you just had.

However, you find yourself lying awake at 2am, JJ's words replaying in your head. You try, really hard, to forget about it. But, enough is enough and you stand up out of bed, throwing a hoodie on over the t-shirt and shorts you chose to sleep in as you leave your room and head straight to Hotch's.

You stop outside the door and doubt yourself. What if he's asleep? And you wake him and then he's really angry? With these thoughts floating around your head, you don't know what possessed you to lift your hand and knock on the door, but you did. It's a good few seconds before the door opens but once it does, there's Hotch, with his pajamas on and hair a little messy, not perfectly styled as usual. He opens his mouth to say something but you stop him.

"I tried really hard to sleep but I just couldn't because there's something I can't stop thinking about and it's so stupid and I tried to hard to just stop my brain but JJ said something and now I don't know what to think and my brain is so fuzzy that I actually came here at two in the morning just to talk to you and I really hope I didn't wake you? Did I wake-" He doesn't let you finish. You're stopped by his lips on yours and a feeling of fire igniting throughout your body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP. This chapter might be AWFUL because i wrote it at 2am and haven't had time to check it 🥲 
> 
> ANYWAY.. i'm sorry if my writing sucks right now, i haven't written anything in so long but i have so much planned for this story and i couldn't stop thinking about it so i knew i HAD to do it !!
> 
> again, sorry for sucking!
> 
> i love each and every one of you who reads this <3


	3. Exile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smut coming in this chapter at the very beginning, so please skip if you're not comfortable with that :)) also this story will potentially contain some stalking etc as well as case descriptions, i will try put individual trigger warnings on each chapter but just be cautious if that stuff upsets you!

Once you started kissing him, it felt like you were home. You put a hand on his cheek and kiss him back a little harder, each touch sending a jolt of electricity through your body. His hands trail down to rest on top of your ass as he gently pulls you inside, closing the door before pushing you up against it. You tug at his shirt a bit and he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours.

"Are you sure, Y/N?" He asks softly, and it only makes you want him more. You nod, a little frantically maybe, as all your skill for forming words leaves you.

"Please." You whine a little, kissing him again. He chuckles against your lips and taps the back of your thighs with his fingers, signaling for you to jump. You hop up and wrap your legs around his waist, using them to pull him in close.

He pulls away from your mouth to kiss down your neck, carefully, so as not to leave any marks which would be questioned. You can't help but admire his strength at holding you up as he lifts you away from the door and carries you to the bed, throwing you down onto it playfully and gently so he doesn't hurt you.

You giggle as your back meets the bed and you look up at him through your lashes, moving your finger in a 'come here' motion in order to urge him to join you on the bed. He climbs onto the bed on top of you, propping himself up on his arms as he looks down at you. His mouth kisses your lips before trailing back down your neck, only stopping to pull off your hoodie and t-shirt. You moan softly as his lips kiss down your breasts and he takes your nipple into his mouth.

"Please.." You repeat, tilting your head back on the bed. He stops to look up at you, keeping eye contact.

"Please what, baby? Use your words." He smirks slightly and your eyes almost roll back in your head as the heat pools between your legs.

"P-Please fuck me." You manage out between moans as Hotch goes back to his ministrations at your chest, your words clearly spur him on as he pulls away from your chest to take his own shirt off. You let yourself take in his half naked body before your gaze trails up to make eye contact with him again. 

He leans down to kiss your lips roughly again, while his hands trail down to get your shorts and panties off. His fingers then find their way to your clit expertly, teasing you a little by circling it.

You don't know what posses you to whine, "Sir..." But right as the words leave your mouth, you know it was the right choice. The look that Hotch gives you is one of pure lust as he presses his fingers to your clit, making your hips buck. He kisses you hard to silence your moans as he slips two fingers inside you, moving them at a quick speed. You moan into his mouth, being quiet certainly wasn't one of your main skills. As his fingers pick up the speed, you don't know how much longer you'll last.

"S-Sir.. I'm close.." You whimper into his ear. All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out, which makes you whine loudly and look at him expectantly. He chuckles.

"God, darling, you're desperate." He shakes his head. "But I want you to come around my cock." His words almost drive you crazy as you nod, unable to make any sounds. He quickly discards of his pants and you have to stop your eyes from widening at how big he is. He smirks at you a little before climbing on top of you, but he stops again.

"Shit, I don't have a condom." He shakes his head, about to pull away, but you stop him by putting your hand on his arm.

"I'm on the pill, it's okay." You bite your lip. He doesn't waste anymore time, kissing you as he lines up with your entrance and pushes in until he's bottomed out inside you. He stays still for a moment to let you adjust to his size, but once you moan and nod, he sets a fast pace. He gently lifts your leg and wraps it around his waist to allow himself more access, thrusting into you as you whimper and moan.

Your nails make their way down his back, digging in slightly. He winces slightly but it seems to spur him on as he thrusts even faster, moaning as the sound of skin slapping against skin becomes the only sounds you can hear. 

"Fuck, you feel so good." He moans into your ear, moving his mouth down to nip at the skin on your neck. His words, combined with his actions sent you over the edge.

"I-I'm coming." Your back arches and head tilts back as you tip over the edge, walls pulsing around Hotch. You realize this sent him over the edge as you feel him twitch and release inside you, prolonging the feeling of ecstasy that your release brought you.

It takes you both a couple minutes to catch your breath and for your legs to stop shaking, Hotch rolls off you and lays down beside you, handing you his shirt gently. You look over and smile at him softly, taking the shirt and putting it on. You stand up, going to the bathroom and peeing. You give yourself one last look over in the mirror and go back out to the room. Hotch had put his pants and boxers back on, leaving you with his shirt as you climb into bed with him and cuddle up beside him. As you feel your breathing line up with his, you drift off to sleep quickly, finally able to shut off your thoughts.

-

The morning after was awkward. You woke up, forgetting what had happened in your first moments of consciousness. That is, until you feel a slight tingling pain between your legs and your eyes almost pop out of your head. Shit. You glance over at Hotch and sigh, he was still asleep. You thought over your options, you could just leave silently.. or you could wake him, but that seemed way too scary to you.

You stand up out of bed and quietly start to pick up and put on your clothes, folding Hotch's shirt and putting it on the side of the bed. You hear a stir coming from the direction of the bed and you look over quickly, but Hotch seems to still be asleep, so you tip toe over to the door and quickly make your way back to your room, practically running down the hotel hallway. Once back in your room, you collapse on the bed.

"Y/N, what the hell were you thinking?" You curse yourself aloud, shaking your head and running your hands through your hair. How was this going to end? You knew workplace romances were looked down upon and there was some sort of paperwork that agents had to put together if they were to be in a committed relationship. But did he even want a committed relationship? You couldn't help but let your thoughts run rampant, maybe that was just a one night stand and Hotch would never talk to you again. You groaned audibly as the thought of having completely ruined your friendship with him crossed your mind. The sex was earth shattering, but you couldn't help letting the anxiety take over as you thought it might have been a mistake.

-

The jet ride home was awkward, you found a seat on the opposite end of the jet to Hotch and hoped the team wouldn't get suspicious. Your usual seat was directly across from him, but you couldn't possibly sit there now.

"You abandon your seat, pretty lady?" Morgan questions, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Oh, I'm just tired. So I'm going to sleep here, on the sofa." You lie, offering him a small, sleepy smile. Morgan seems to be satisfied enough with your answer to not ask further questions. You let out a small sigh of relief and lay on the sofa, pretending to sleep while your thoughts drive you crazy.

At some point towards the end of the flight, you decide you had enough of your anxious thoughts rambling so you get up and go to get yourself a bottle of water, almost running into Hotch in the process as he makes himself a coffee.

"Y/N.." He starts, but maybe even he doesn't know what he was going to say. Either way, you stay silent and ignore him. He sighs and shakes his head.

"We need to talk. My office, when we land." He whispers in your ear and you use all your energy to not let yourself shiver as the events of last night replay in your mind. Shit.

-

You think about ignoring Hotch's request and just going home. But, he is still your boss, even if you did sleep together, so you know you have to go and talk to him. You make a mental note to keep things short and just hear what he has to say and leave as quickly as possible. You make your way up the little stairs to his office, and you notice that you're shaking.. why are you shaking? You frown a little but you force yourself to shake it off as you reach his door, knocking twice in a characteristic manner that always lets him know it's you.

"Come in." He calls out and you take a deep breath before stepping inside.

"You wanted to talk.." You bite your lip a little, anxiously. He nods.

"Yes, have a seat, please." He gestures to the chair with his hand so you sit down gently, avoiding his gaze as you pick at your fingernails. He must realize you're not going to say anything, so he continues. "I'm sorry for last night. It was inappropriate of me to insinuate it and you were clearly uncomfortable."

"No, Hotch." You stop him before he can continue. "I wanted it, don't blame yourself. But we can't keep doing that, can we? I mean, I know there's a lot of paperwork for workplace relationships and- I mean, not that you want a relationship or anything because maybe that was just a one night stand and it was just a bit of fun-"

"Y/N." It's his turn to cut you off. "You're rambling, darling. And you must know, you're a lot more than just a one night stand to me." He sees you visibly relax. "However, I am a lot older than you, so I understand if last night was just a slip for you and if you are uncomfortable with that fact."

"Please, it's not like that. I don't.. sleep around like that." You shake your head, finally finding the courage to look up and into his eyes.. oh those eyes.

"Then why did you leave in the morning?" He looks at you, his brows furrowed in the slight confusion.

"I-I don't know. I just didn't know what else to do, and I wasn't sure if you would regret it.. I don't know." You chew on your lip again.

"I don't regret it." He states simply, staring at you intensely.

"So.. what does that mean?" You tilt your head a little, the confusion clouding your perfectly shaped brows.

"Whatever you want it to mean. But I propose we take our time, get to know each other and just see where it goes." He reaches over to take your small hand in his much larger one. You glance down at your hands and smile before nodding a little.

"I like the sound of that."

-

You went home giddy and smiling like a kid on Christmas after that night, almost skipping into your apartment and you could've sworn the doorman raised an eyebrow at your behavior. However, your happiness was short lived as you see a package had been left for you. You pick it up carefully as dread fills your body at the handwriting on the package. You let yourself inside and place the medium sized box on the table, sucking a breath in through your teeth.

You need to go to the kitchen to get a small knife and cut the tape on the box open. You reluctantly do so, not sure if you even want to see what's in there. The box is big, however all that you see is in there is a bottle of your favorite expensive wine, Screaming Eagle Sauvignon Blanc, and a note. You shiver and reach a shaky hand out to pick up the piece of paper. On it, in cursive writing;

'When are you going to let me in to enjoy a glass of that with you? It's still your favorite, isn't it?'

It wasn't signed, but it didn't have to be. You knew very well who sent it. The thought of him knowing your address and being able to get a package to you unsettled you greatly. You thought about telling the team, but you couldn't. It was your problem and you would simply have to deal with it on your own. You swallow down the lump in your throat and crumple up the note, throwing it in the bin. As for the wine, a glass of that was going to be necessary.

-

You didn't have a case for a few days after that, so Rossi decided to host a dinner at his mansion. In those few days, bottles of ridiculously expensive, vintage wine kept ending up at your apartment and you simply couldn't look at them, so you decided to bring one with you to Rossi's, as a gift. You and Hotch had talked on the phone once since your chat in his office and you were glad to see that things had barely changed between the two of you.

You're one of the first to arrive, you always were. You liked helping Rossi prepare some things and you were quite a talented chef so you figured Rossi didn't mind receiving help from you. You knocked on the door with the bottle of wine held up in your hand. Rossi chuckled when he saw you and the wine.

"Ah, bella! You didn't have to bring anything." He smiles at you and you shrug.

"I know, I know. But I had this sitting around my house and figured we would make more use of it than me, alone." You giggled as you walked inside, handing him the wine.

"This is very expensive to just have 'sitting around' in your home." He raises an eyebrow but you just shrug again.

"You know I have an expensive taste."

He chuckles. "Oh, I know. Now come on, I need your help in the kitchen." You grin and walk through to the kitchen, washing your hands and getting to work.

The others slowly started to arrive, filtering in and through to the garden where everything was set up. Hotch, on the other hand, couldn't help stopping and admiring you in the kitchen. You were so natural when you were cooking, you made it all look simple. He only realized you had caught him staring when you waved a hand in front of his face, a bit of sauce on your cheek.

"Hellooooo, earth to Hotch!" You smile and chuckle. He shakes his head.

"Sorry, sorry. I was just.." He trails off, lost on what to say.

"Staring at me?" You raise an eyebrow with a little smirk, he chuckles.

"Mhm, that sauce on your cheek is intriguing. It's a good look for you, Y/N." The corners of his lips turn up into a little smirk also. You blush.

"That's what happens when you cook!" You shrug, trying to wipe it but you can't find it. Hotch reaches over and grabs a tissue from Rossi's kitchen island and cups your face with his hand, wiping the sauce off your face gently. His touch on your face lingers a little as you stare into each other's eyes until Rossi re-enters the kitchen and clears his throat, you both move away from each other quickly.

"You're gonna burn the sauce." Rossi alerts you. You blush again and quickly go to tend to it. Rossi shoots Hotch a look, to which Hotch just shakes his head and walks out to join the others.

You and Rossi join them soon after, taking your seats and laying out the food, carbonara a la Rossi. You sit between Hotch and Rossi, smiling at everyone. Rossi places the wine you brought on the table also.

"The wine is courtesy of Y/N tonight." He smiles as the rest of the team express their joy at the fancy drink choice you made. Hotch looks at you with a bit of a raised eyebrow, because you really did just bring some five thousand dollar wine with you. You just wink at him quickly and then turn away, starting to eat.

-

Throughout the night, everyone drinks maybe a little too much and end up dispersing throughout the house. JJ and Emily ended up off somewhere after saying they were going to watch a movie. Garcia and Rossi were entertaining Reid as he rambled on about one of his many passions in life, and Morgan had gone home to Savannah after he had promised her he would. You and Hotch offered to clean up after dinner and put away any remaining food.

So there you were, sat on Rossi's kitchen island with a glass of wine in your hand as Hotch leaned against the counter, a mere meter or so away from you. You both kept eye contact as you laughed and joked.

"I'm just saying, your music taste could use some... renovation!" You were mildly tipsy as you lectured Hotch on his music choices. He shook his head a little at you, but he was listening.

"Y/N, my music isn't that bad." He objected, looking straight at you.

"Hmm, I think it is. It's the kinda stuff my grandpa listened to!" You shake your head in disbelief. "You need to keep up with the times a bit, old man." You wink, and he rolls his eyes at you jokingly, moving a little closer and resting a hand on your thigh.

"I'll make you a deal.." That got your attention. "You pick ten of your favorite songs, if I honestly enjoy five or more, then you can pick another ten. If not, i'll give you ten of my favorite songs." He raises an eyebrow and you nodded.

"You're on, Hotchner." You grinned. "Be ready to be amazed." The confidence dripped from your voice which only made him chuckle. No matter how awful the songs you gave him would be, he would add all of them to his playlist and sing along to them in the car, simply because they came from you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo there's that! I'm not sure I'm 100% happy with this chapter but I'll be working all weekend so I knew I had to get something out today!
> 
> Also I know it may seem like Y/N and Hotch's relationship is a little bit rushed however remember they've known each other for at least a couple of months ( i just skipped a bit of that :/ ) and everything is a bit fluffy and cute with them right now but trust me, there is A LOT of angst coming your way ;)
> 
> And lastly i apologize if that smut scene was awfully written, i haven't written smut in so long and especially femalexmale smut, whoops!
> 
> bye my lovessss, feel free to leave all your feedback!


	4. Tolerate It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done with work so going to try and get lots of writing done this week !! I'm feeling pretty blocked right now with ideas to fill this story out a bit more before i get to my main planned plot points! So if this chapter sucks slightly, i do apologize and i promise better ones are on the way!! 
> 
> warning for smut, a little bit of stalking and some case description down below!

The gifts coming to your apartment became a little more creepy and insistent over the week following Rossi's dinner party. The short notes became longer letters and while the expensive wines continued, more personal things started coming along also. Your favorite perfume, or rather what used to be your favorite perfume, your favorite fancy gift chocolates. Every day that went by and every gift that arrived made you one step closer to telling the team but you couldn't, especially, you couldn't tell Aaron. You were getting along so incredibly well, you couldn't screw it up now. So you kept quiet and built the walls up around you. For a team of profilers, they weren't able to read you very well. Or maybe, you just hid your emotions very well.

The following few days at the bureau had been boring, you knew you shouldn't complain about the lack of cases, but you couldn't help it. It worked out quite well in a way since you all had a lot of reports to work on and hand in to Hotch. You got into some sort of strange rhythm. You'd do your report early and hand it in to him early, then you'd sit with him while he went through the reports and everyone else went home because you didn't want him to be alone. He'd never admit it, but he deeply appreciated your company. Tonight was one of those nights, where you were sat at his office at 8pm while he worked. You couldn't help staring at him. Watching his hair fall perfectly, watching his brow furrow slightly which caused a little wrinkle in his forehead to form, looking at his perfectly done tie which was still in place after the whole day, watching the veins in his hands as he held the pen and wrote stuff down. You bit your lip.

"Do you need something, darling?" He glanced up at you, making eye contact which made your breath hitch in your throat. You manage to shake your head.

"N-No." You stutter, but then manage to collect yourself. "Just enjoying the view, is all."

His lips curve up ever so slightly. "Take a photograph, it'll last longer."

"Yes sir." You raise an eyebrow, he seems to be affected by your words but he doesn't say anything, going back down to his paperwork and letting you go back to staring at him. He works tirelessly for another half an hour until you go around to his side of the desk and sit on it. "Aaron, I'm bored." You pout. He looks up at you.

"You know I have to do this stuff, otherwise I'll get buried in it." He states with a small sigh.

You let out a dramatic sigh. "Oh I know. But it would be so much more fun if you could do me." 

He places a hand on your thigh. "Trust me, there's nothing I'd prefer over that idea.. but-"

"But you have to get this done." You cut him off and nod, using your heel to push his chair away from his desk. "However, I'm sure you have time for a quick break." You slide onto his lap, leaning in to kiss him deeply.

He kisses you back with a little sigh of relief, hands roaming your body immediately. "You make me crazy." He mumbles against your lips which just makes you smirk and run your hands down his back while you kiss him. He tangles a hand into your hair and pulls it back gently so he can expose your neck. He moves his mouth down onto your neck then, kissing and sucking and nipping at the skin because he knows that's what drives you crazy. You sigh softly, letting him tilt your head back by the hold he has on your hair.

"Anyone could walk in right now." You pant softly and he gives your ass a little squeeze.

"Mhm, but you like that." He mumbles against the skin on your neck. You know he's right, so you don't argue any further, letting him keep leaving marks that will certainly be hard to cover on your neck. Your lips part lightly as you moan quietly. His mouth makes its way back up to your lips then, kissing you deeply again as you fix yourself on his lap. "You know.. I really need to get back to work." He tells you between heated kisses. You pull away and smirk, before getting off his lap and sinking down to your knees on the floor in front of him.

"So get back to work then." You look up at him and wink which makes him groan, he tries to focus on the paper work again but as your fingers open his belt and work pants, pulling his hard cock out, he finds it hard to focus on anything else. You stroke him a couple of times before leaning over to lick a strip up his cock, hearing him let a puff of air out. One of his hands stays holding a pen as he attempts to keep working but the other finds its way into your hair again, resting there. You waste no time in taking him in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip before moving your mouth further down. He was big, but you were determined so you slid your mouth further and further down until you were very nearly gagging. He groaned again, looking down at you.

"Fuck, you look so good like that. On your knees like a little slut." He pushes his hips against your throat ever so slightly, making you gag a little. His words send heat traveling straight down to your core. You start moving your mouth up and down his length, leaning your hands on his thighs to steady yourself. He slowly starts moving his hips in time with your mouth, taking over control a little. You gag and feel a couple of tears sting your eyes, you were sure your makeup had started smearing by now. You let him keep fucking your face like that, focusing on taking it as best as you can. Eventually, you get used to the rhythm and look up at him through your lashes from where your mouth is wrapped around him. That made him moan, maybe a little louder than he should.

"That's it baby, you're so good for me." His praise sends electricity down your body and makes you more determined to get him to finish. You hollow your cheeks from time to time and you know he enjoys that by the groans leaving his mouth. You know he's getting close by how sloppy his thrusts into your mouth become, so you take over slightly and start bobbing your head quickly. It doesn't take long before he spills over the edge, moaning your name as he releases his load into your mouth.

"Swallow." He demands, pulling you off his cock by your hair gently. You do as you're told and reach your thumb up to wipe the corners of your mouth. "Such a good girl." He sighs softly, leaning back in his chair a little as you stand up again. He tucks himself away, doing his belt up again. You smirk at him.

"That should motivate you to get your work done." You raise an eyebrow. He nods.

"Yes, now go sit on that sofa patiently and wait for me to be done. Then you're coming over and I will fuck you senseless." He stares right at you as he speaks and your heart beats quickly.

"Yes sir." You wink and go over to the sofa, sitting down on it. You knew you were falling for him.

-

Your boring period in work didn't last long because two days later, you all had a case again. You made your way to the round table, sitting in your seat beside Hotch while JJ presented the case.

"So, we have three couples, all slightly elderly, all very rich and all found dead in their homes, brutally bludgeoned in Florida." She pulls up the crime scene photos. You look through the case file.

"Three murders and we're only being called in now?" Hotch questions, shaking his head. JJ sighs.

"Yeah, seemingly the local PD thought they weren't related and thought they had it handled." She pulls a face, JJ was great, you got along really well with her. 

"Well, they definitely don't have it handled." Morgan chuckled, shaking his head much like Hotch did.

"We'll brief more on the plane. Looks like we're off to Florida. Wheels up in thirty." Hotch nods and starts gathering up his files while everyone else does the same, including you. 

You all make your way to your desks to grab your go bags before heading to the bureau airport. Right as you make your way onto the jet, you get a text from an unrecognized number.

'Taking a trip? Remember, I'll find you anywhere.'

You shiver at that and feel a little sick. Your face must've gave it away because Emily immediately looked concerned.

"Y/N? Everything okay?" She brushed her fingers against your arm, looking right at you. You nod a little.

"Yeah.. I'm okay. I must've just eaten something funny." You lie, trying hard to seem convincing as you offer her a little smile. It seems to be good enough for her, but not for Aaron, who stares at you and you can see the concern in his eyes. But he doesn't ask. However you know he'll probably try to bring it up later, when you're alone, and you don't know if you're ready for that. You sit down in your usual seat right across from Hotch, giving him a little smile when he looked up at you.

As the team starts discussing case details, you try your best to stay focused and join in on the conversation. However, you find your mind drifting to that text, anxiously picking at your well manicured nails. That was your tell, and Hotch knew that by now. He noticed things about people because he was so observant, he listened to everything everyone said which also meant he knew everything about everyone. He gently moved his foot under the little table to touch yours, trying to get you to come back to earth. You don't even notice that tears started gathering in your eyes. You shake your head as you snap back to reality and engage with the team again, ignoring the worried stare that you know Aaron is giving you at that moment.

The jet soon lands and Hotch splits the team. "Morgan and Prentiss, head to the latest crime scene. Reid, you and Rossi head to the M.E. JJ, you head to the main media office, they're expecting you. Y/L/N, you're coming with me to coordinate with the local P.D." Everyone nods and heads off to their SUV's. Morgan and Emily get into one, taking JJ with them to drop her off on the way. Rossi and Reid go into the second one and you and Hotch in the third one. Once you're in the car alone with him, his face softens considerably.

"Are you okay?" He looks at you with that gaze that feels like he's staring into your soul and sends shivers down your spine, keeping the car parked for now. You shake your head to try and dismiss him.

"Aaron, I'm fine. I already told Emily I was." You swallow the small lump that formed in your throat, it was almost impossible for you to lie to him.

"And Emily might have bought it. But I don't." He frowns softly, his forehead wrinkling a little as he does. He reaches over to take your hands in his. "You can tell me anything, Y/N." 

You take a slightly shaky breath. "I know. But I'm okay, please trust me on that." You give his hand a little squeeze and he sighs softly and nods, a little defeated as he starts the car and starts driving. He rests one hand on your thigh reassuringly as he drives and you look at this large hand there, on your leg, and you smile softly.

-

The hardest part of this case was talking to the families of the victims. They were all elderly couples so you found yourself talking to children and grandchildren who were deeply devastated to have lost their grandparents and parents. You related to that and it brought back some upsetting memories, but you had to brush it off, for the sake of the case.

Of course, Hotch noticed you were acting a little different and more sensitive than usual. Which made him worry. He hadn't had feelings for anyone quite like his feelings for you.

The good thing about this case was the relief that wrapping it up and bringing closure to the family brought to the team. On your last night in Florida, you couldn't be happier for this case to be over. The team decided to go for drinks in the bar downstairs to try and lift everyone's spirits. You didn't mind going out for drinks, despite feeling a little down. 

You made sure to shower and do your makeup nicely, hoping that maybe making yourself pretty might make you feel better. You put on a bodycon red dress that didn't leave too much to the imagination, not that you wanted to get anyone's attention but Aaron Hotchner's. You took one last glance in the mirror and smiled at the reflection before you heard a knock on the door that was specific to Aaron. You open the door and watch as his eyes take in the sight of you.

"Wow. You look incredible, sweetheart." He smiles lightly at you, putting a hand on your waist. You blush and grin at him.

"Thank you, as do you." You let yourself take him in. The casual polo shirt and jeans look was one you loved on him. It showed off his toned body perfectly, especially his arms. He leaned in and placed a small kiss on your lips before trailing the kisses down gently, finishing with a kiss on your collarbone.

"Ready to go?" He asks you, looking into your eyes in the way that makes you melt. You nod and let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding.

"Let's go." You smile as he wraps an arm around you as you walk. He was considerably taller than you, even when you were in heels, so it was a comfortable way of walking.

It only took the first round of drinks before the team was chatting and laughing as usual again. You were sat beside Aaron, his hand resting comfortably on your thigh. He always had to be touching you in some way, even if it was in the most subtle way, his hands were just always on your body.

You laughed at something Reid said and Aaron couldn't help watching you, the way you threw your head back like a little kid and laughed with your whole body. Your laugh echoed in his ears, god, he loved that sound. He squeezed your thigh gently which made you look at him with a smile, your eyes lit up with happiness and the slightest hint of intoxication. He simply smiled softly back at you and let you return to your conversation.

Of course the team noticed these exchanges between you and Hotch, but they never said anything. They were content seeing how happy you both were around each other and they knew eventually, they would be filled in. Rossi knew a lot, he was probably the only one Aaron truly confided in. And JJ had helped you with your feelings, of course, but no one else really had anything but theories. And they weren't mad about that.

It was well after 3am when Hotch decided it was time to get you up to your room and into bed. You had drank a lot and he feared alcohol poisoning was in your future if he didn't remove you from the situation.

"But Aaronnnnnnnnn, I don't wanna go to bed! I'm having so much fun!" You leaned in close to him, lips inches away from his and he could smell the alcohol on your breath. He didn't allow himself to get distracted.

"I'm sorry, but you need to get to bed. It's my duty to cut you off, and now is the time." He shakes his head, gently holding your waist to stand you up. "Say goodnight to everyone." He told you softly as you pouted at him like a child.

"Ugh, fine. Goodnight everyone, I love you all soooooo much." You blew kisses at the rest of the team. That made the more sober members of the team chuckle. While Emily slurred an equally dramatic goodnight to you also. 

You appreciated Aaron leading you back to the hotel room, you didn't realize quite how drunk you were until you tried walking and almost sprained an ankle. You stood in the elevator, swaying a little.

"I'm dizzy Hotch." Your head spun, the ding of the elevator which signaled that you were on the correct floor startling you. Hotch weighed up his options and decided the easiest option was to scoop you up, bridal style. You giggled as picked you up. "Did I ever tell you, you LITERALLY sweep me off my feet?!" You laugh at your own pun and he rolls his eyes jokingly but also chuckles a bit along with you.

"Very funny." He smiles at you as you look right at him while he carries you to your room. You hand him your purse as he sets you down outside the door so he can unlock it, letting you both inside. The alcohol was wearing off a bit and you were getting tired now, a big yawn escaping your mouth. Aaron grabbed your pajamas, a gorgeous silk set that he loved on you.

"Come on baby." He spoke much softer than usual, making your heart swell. He helped you out of your dress and into your pajamas. You found it funny how you two lusted after each other on a daily, however he had so much self control when it mattered, taking such good care of you. He led you to the bathroom next, grabbing a makeup wipe and helping you get your makeup off gently. You look at him as he concentrates on using the wipe on your face. You can't help the grin that spreads on your face.

"What are you grinning at?" He chuckles as he looks back at you.

"You're just so.. concentrated." You giggle which makes him shake his head softly.

"Come on then, bed time." He leads you to the bed, throwing the makeup wipe in the bin. You fall back on the bed with a soft 'thud' and look up at him.

"Stay with me?" You plead softly, staring into his eyes and he could never say no to you, so he nods and takes his shirt and pants off, leaving him in his boxers. He turned off the light and laid next to you as you cuddled up to him on his chest. And as you laid there, slightly intoxicated and falling asleep while listening to his heartbeat, it hit you like a truck. You were in love with Aaron Hotchner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! there’s that. Y/N is in loveeeeee ;) This chapter was very cute and fluffy for the most part ... 
> 
> i have so much planned for this story so i can only hope people enjoy it enough to keep me motivated to write it all! 
> 
> would anyone be interested in a playlist for this story? although the chapter titles kind of do that already ;)
> 
> lots of love as always and all feedback is appreciated and welcomed!
> 
> also i wrote this at nearly 2am so just ... bear with any grammar or spelling mistakes, i’m tired but this is my peak writing time...


	5. Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally got a new chapter coming at ya ;)
> 
> tw for stalking a little more than usual in this chapter ...

Over the following couple of weeks, the particularly creepy gifts and letters had almost stopped and you couldn't help but feel relieved. Maybe he had given up. Maybe he would leave you alone. You weren't naive, you knew that couldn't be the case, but you wanted to believe it so badly. So, you let yourself live in the fairytale world that you created where all of your problems magically disappeared.

You had just gotten home from your usual late night at work with Aaron and your mood was quite lifted. That was until you opened your front door and immediately knew something was wrong. You reached down and pulled out your gun, releasing the safety and holding it in front of you, ready to shoot. You walked into the living room and audibly gasped. There were papers and files everywhere, your furniture was thrown all over the room and many parts were broken. Legs were snapped clean off from the coffee table. You saw smashed wine glasses on the floor along with a smashed bottle of red wine that Aaron had gotten you on the rug, destroying that too.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, walking into your bedroom and noticing it was just as bad. Your pillows were ripped to shreds, seemingly by a knife. You took your time checking the whole apartment but he was gone. He had clearly come looking for you after learning your work schedule but you decided to stay late with Hotch at the last minute. Thank god for that. You feel a shiver dance it's way down your spine. You didn't expect this from him, this level of violence.. of anger. You chewed on your lip as you tried not to break down.

It was no use. You ended up on the floor in the middle of your destroyed bedroom, sobbing loudly. You didn't want to tell Aaron, you didn't want to drag him into this. You knew he'd be furious that you hadn't told him from the very start, but you couldn't. You would have to expose too many raw emotions and memories if you were to do that. You couldn't tell him just this part of the story, you would have to go all the way back. You definitely couldn't tell him.

With that thought, you went about starting to clean your apartment. You would have to get your locks changed, not that it would really stop him but maybe it would buy you some time to figure out what you were going to do. You hadn't even realized that the sun had come up at one point. You managed to clear your bedroom and the kitchen, along with getting a start on the living room before you checked the time. You had to be in work soon.. and you hadn't slept in over twenty four hours. You sighed and decided cleaning would have to wait until later. You took a quick shower, letting the hot water almost burn your skin. You almost fell asleep in the shower, but you managed to save yourself.

You got ready quickly after that, trying to use makeup to cover up your tired face and it worked to some degree. It would have to do. You gathered up your belongings and packed a new go bag, just in case you ended up being called out on a case, although you prayed that wouldn't happen. You drove to Quantico, highly surprised that you didn't crash your car on the way. You had just about made it into the building on time, heading straight for your desk and flopping down in the chair exhaustedly, making Morgan raise an eyebrow at you.

"Hey pretty girl, what's up with you?" He looked straight at you and you just sighed.

"Nothing, I just didn't sleep very much last night." Technically that wasn't a lie, you just omitted the reason for your lack of rest. He didn't seem very convinced, but he didn't say anything else. You got stuck in to your paperwork then, working slower than usual since your brain seemed to be working in slow motion. Once you finished your first report of the day, way too late, you brought it up to Hotch's office along with one of Morgan's that he finished. You knocked on the door softly, using your special knock so he would know it's you. You walk inside and smile lightly at him.

"Hey." He looked up at you as he spoke, reaching his hand out to take the reports from you and put them aside.

"Hi." You giggle and he looks at you with concern laced throughout his face. "What? What's with the face?" You ask.

"You look tired." He states simply, continuing to look at you in the same manner.

"I am. I didn't sleep well last night but I'm alright." You shake your head. He stands up and walks closer to you until he's inches away, taking your hand in his.

"Y/N, you can talk to me, you know?" His voice stays serious and you nod.

"I know, I know. But I'm okay, really." You reassured him, knowing you had to otherwise he would worry endlessly.

"Fine. I believe you." He nods, giving your hand a little squeeze before speaking again. "You know, I've been thinking.. We should go out on a proper date. We haven't officially been on one."

You nod slowly. "You're right.. we haven't." 

"I made a reservation for tomorrow night, eight o'clock?" He asks, although it's more of a statement. It's not like he needs to ask, your answer was always yes.

You nod again. "It's a date." You lean in and kiss him gently, which he reciprocated immediately. Once you pull away you just stare into each other's eyes for a while. You smiled like an idiot, this man would surely be the death of you.

-

The following night rolled around quickly. You managed to actually get some sleep and felt much better. You found it hard to make it through the full day of work, your brain consistently staying focused on the date. You tried to get all the details from Hotch but he wouldn't tell you much at all. You did manage to find out you were going to a fancy restaurant as you needed to know how to dress, which he decided was fair enough.

You really went all out, wearing a very sexy dress which simultaneously kept it elegant enough for a restaurant, you paired that with your favorite pair of heels and made sure you were wearing a matching red lace underwear set, because knowing you and Aaron, the night would end in sex. You put on some small jewelry that would perfectly accentuate your outfit. You curled your hair just slightly and decided to be a little bolder with your makeup, adding a red lip. You had just finished getting ready and were sipping on a glass of water when a knock on the door snapped you out of your thoughts. You grabbed your purse, making sure you had everything you needed before you opened the door.

Aaron's breath hitched when he saw you. You were ethereal. He took you in, really took you in. His eyes roamed all over you, from the way your heels made your legs look longer and slimmer than they already were, to the way the dress hugged your body perfectly, to the small necklace resting on your chest, to your hair which seemed to fall perfectly no matter what, finishing his stare-down on your lips, those beautiful lips that he loved kissing so much. Yeah, you would certainly be his undoing.

"You look incredible." You spoke first, and you weren't lying. He really did look incredible. His shirt unbuttoned a little at the top, his blazer which was more casual than his work suit, the expensive watch on his wrist, the way his hair was perfectly styled, the way he looked at you, that stare that made you melt. Your voice snapped him out of his trance.

"There are no words to describe how beautiful you look, sweetheart." He tells you softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as you blush.

"Thank you." You lean in and place a kiss to the side of his mouth quickly before stepping out and locking up your apartment, going down to Aaron's car with him. He opened the door for you with a soft smile, letting you get in and closing the door also before going around to the drivers side and getting in. He rested a hand on your thigh gently as he started driving.

"So, how have you gotten on with listening to the songs that I recommended for you?" You raise an eyebrow with a playful smirk which makes him chuckle.

"You were right, they're very good songs." He nods a little, they were actually good songs but even if they hadn't been, he would've told you they were anyway. You grin triumphantly.

"See! I told you." You lean back in your seat, happy with yourself and he glances over. He couldn't help but smile after seeing you like that. The rest of the drive goes by with a comfortable silence from the two of you, songs playing in the car to which you sing along and he simply just listens.

You can't help the audible gasp you let out when you see the restaurant to which he had taken you. It was beautiful, and quite clearly expensive. You knew he made a lot of money as Unit Chief but until now you hadn't realized quite how much money he actually made. Once again, he opens your door for you and helps you out of the car, leading you inside with an arm around your waist. 

You get seated and comfortable as you look around the restaurant in awe. The place was perfect, from the sparkling chandeliers to the perfectly polished floors and dark wooden tables.

"Is this place okay?" Aaron asks softly, taking your hand over the table.

"Are you joking? This place is incredible." You look into his eyes. "Thank you so much for bringing me here."

He smiles. "Nothing but the best for you, sweetheart."

You both fall into comfortable conversation while you wait for the waiter to come around, letting him take your order. He was a young man and he was quite clearly staring at you. But you were basically blind, your tunnel vision set only to Aaron. Once the waiter goes to get your food you go back to your random conversations and the rest of the night flows that way, your leg brushing gently against his a couple times. You had drank two or three glasses of an expensive wine so you were ever so slightly giggly when you both got back to the car. 

Hotch drove you both back to his house, hand resting on your thigh again, his thumb gently moving up and down on your thigh. Once you got there, you couldn't keep your hands off him anymore. Your lips found his the minute the door was closed as he pushed you up against the door, kissing you back intensely, in a way that made the butterflies in your stomach go wild. His lips trail down your neck slowly, sucking on your pulse point somewhat roughly which pulls a moan out from the very back of your throat.

"Aaron.." You whine softly, leaning your head back against the door. You feel him smirk against your skin as he continues to kiss around your neck and exposed collarbone before moving back up and kissing you roughly. You both manage to just about make it to the sofa when your phone rings, making you groan in annoyance. However, you still answer the phone.

"Hello?" You knew the annoyance was clear in your voice and you almost felt sorry for the person on the other end of the line.

"Miss Y/L/N, I'm deeply sorry to bother you. But we've been hearing noise from your apartment and seeing as you have been gone all evening we felt it was necessary to notify you." The receptionist of your building alerts you and you try not to let your face drop but you feel a little sick.

"Oh, right. I'll be right there, thank you." You try to keep your composure while your heart thrums loudly in your chest.

"Would you like us to call the police?" He asks politely and it takes all the energy in your body to not freak out.

"No, no that won't be necessary. I will be there shortly." You sigh and hang up the phone, turning back to Aaron with a pout. "I'm sorry.. I have to go back to my apartment. There's been.. a plumbing accident and they need me there to assess the damage." You lie, you hated lying to him. But it was much better than telling him the truth.

"That's okay, don't worry darling. I'll drive you back there." He gives you a sincere smile and a quick kiss to your lips.

"I really am sorry. I wish I could just stay here with you." You frown and sigh deeply.

"Don't apologize." He reassured you, taking your hand and giving it a little squeeze. You smile at him, trying not to let your anxiety show. You had no clue what you would find at your apartment. You gather up your stuff and make your way back out to Aaron's car with him. The drive goes quite quickly, too quickly as you're faced with the obstacle of going up to your apartment. You had been a little zoned out during the drive and Hotch noticed, but he didn't want to press you too far.

"Will you be okay dealing with this on your own?" He questioned, looking into your eyes. You so desperately wanted to scream and cry and tell him not to leave you alone with this, but you couldn't. So you forced a smile and simply nodded.

"Yeah, don't worry." You leaned over and kissed him softly before getting out of the car. "I'll see you tomorrow, thank you so much for tonight."

"You don't have to thank me." He replied softly and you just smiled a little more and waved a little at him as you walked away into your apartment building, greeting the doorman on the way in. 

Your whole body shook with every step you took. What would you do if he was up there waiting for you? You didn't have your gun, sure you knew self defense but what if he was the one with a gun? A shiver made its way down your back at that. He wouldn't go that far, surely. Would he? Your thoughts ran rampant as you stood in the elevator, feeling like you were going to throw up. You took a deep breath when you saw the door to your apartment was slightly open. Your heartbeat rang in your ears and you felt stupid for not asking Aaron to come with you. You should've told him everything.

You pushed the door open more and walked inside, making sure to keep your back to a wall so no one could sneak up on you as you checked each room one by one. Once again, it seemed as though he was gone. You walked into the kitchen and your eyes widened as a shiver ran down your spine for the umpteenth time that night. There, on your kitchen wall, was the word 'SLUT' written in capital letters. It looked like blood. You had seen enough blood to know what it looked like. On your kitchen island was a photo of you and Aaron walking into the restaurant with his arm around your waist. A note accompanied the picture.

'Does your boyfriend know what a whore you are?' 

You couldn't hold it in, you ran to the bathroom and emptied your stomach in the toilet. You were shivering intensely and you weren't sure if you were ever going to make it back up from the ground. Why did he have to do this? Why to you? You sat there on the bathroom floor for probably an hour, sobbing to yourself. This was the second time this week that you were sat on the floor of one of the rooms in your apartment crying. You laughed sarcastically to yourself. Things were going great.

Your heart kept beating quickly and you felt dizzy so you didn't even attempt to stand back up. The vile taste in your mouth almost made you throw up again but you struggled to find the energy to stand up and do something about it. You got lost in your thoughts for what felt like hours, your brain running rampant. Maybe you had to tell the team, or at least Aaron. Were you in danger? Potentially. You never thought it would go this far. Sure, the gifts were creepy but it would be right up his alley to do something like that anyway. This level of violence though, you hadn't seen in a long time.

You contemplated life on the bathroom floor for another little while before you managed to stand up on shaky legs, your makeup had run down your face and you looked like something from a horror movie. You laughed at yourself before rinsing out your mouth and brushing your teeth. You shook your head and walked back out to your kitchen, tears stinging your eyes again as you saw the blood on the wall and the picture of you and Aaron. You reached for your phone before dialing his number.

"Aaron, can you pick me up? I can't stay at home tonight." You choke out between tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter this time but i didn't find it fitting to drag this out anymore and i wanted to leave it on a bit of a cliffhanger! things are heating up with our girl and her stalker ! 
> 
> As always i appreciate all feedback!! i love you all so much thank you for reading, commenting, voting and all the rest!
> 
> As for a playlist, i'm working on forming a proper playlist for this story however the chapter titles are all taylor swift songs ;) i recommend listening to the song in the chapter name as you read each chapter, i think they're fitting for the mood!
> 
> I'm sorry if there's typos or grammatical errors, i did try to read over it but i have issues and only write late at night sooooo ....


	6. Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has certainly been a hot minute since i updated i'm so sorry ! i have had such a busy week omg.. but hopefully i'll have this chapter up the same night as i start writing it and back to regular updates next week with hopefully 2 or 3 new chapters!
> 
> tw for mention of domestic violence and stalking as usual <3 stay safe my lovelies

When Aaron eventually picked you up, you had managed to stop crying. You couldn't even find it in you to pack a bag or bring anything but yourself down to his car. You had waited for him down in the foyer, not being able to stay in your apartment any longer than you already had. You got into the car silently without looking at him and you could feel his eyes on you immediately. You could picture his worried gaze which he used frequently with you.

Aaron was torn. He didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth, about to speak, but he couldn't find the right words to say. He was extremely worried, but he didn't want to push you too much too soon. He knew he shouldn't profile you, but he couldn't help it. He noticed quite how hard whatever happened hit you and he wasn't sure how to get you talking about it without traumatizing you. So, he drove silently towards his house and hoped you would open up eventually.

The drive to his house was short but this time, it felt as though it was hours long. You knew you had to start talking soon as to not worry Aaron further, it had gone too far. He needed to know. You wanted to wait until you were at his house, you felt safe there. It might be the only place you still felt safe. He wrapped his arm around you as you walked inside and you let out a breath you didn't realize you had been holding. The simplest touch from him had a way of relaxing you. You sat on the sofa and thought about all the things you had to tell him, not sure on where to start as he made you some chamomile tea. He knew exactly what to do when you were feeling rough and you were grateful he knew you this well. You needed that. Once he returned with teas for both of you, you took a deep breath.

"There's something I have to tell you." You began, your voice already shaky. You needed to get a grip, you had to be clear in what you were saying. You took another deep breath before continuing, Aaron's soft stare as he listened to you encouraging you to go on. "In my first year of college, I met a guy. He was a year ahead of me and in my college you were assigned a mentor from the year above in your first year. Just for general help and getting used to college life. He was mine, and we got along really well from the get go."

Aaron's thoughts ran rampant as he tried to figure out where you were going with your story and what this had to do with picking you up late at night after you had clearly been crying. He feared the worst. And he was probably right to.

You continued. "It only took a couple of weeks for us to start dating and for the first year or so, everything was perfect. I was really happy and I thought he was going to be the guy I would spend my whole life with. Unfortunately that didn't last." You frowned as your mind brought you back to that first day, the first time it happened. "We were probably a year and a half into our relationship when he first laid a hand on me. At first, he felt awful any time he did it. He'd get angry in the moment and it would happen and he would end up spending the rest of the night apologizing to me."

Hotch tried his hardest to hide the anger he was feeling. He couldn't help but imagine what that was like for you and all he wanted to do was beat up the guy responsible for hurting you. He took your hand in his for support as you continued speaking.

"Over time, he got more violent and less apologetic. He broke my wrist once and that's when I knew it was bad. I knew I had to get out of that situation but it wasn't that easy. To the outside world we seemed like the perfect couple and he threatened to hurt me if I ruined his reputation by telling anyone." You didn't know when but at some point, you had started crying. "I stayed with him until the end of my college course, then I moved away to the FBI Academy and I managed to break it off and run away. I didn't tell him where I was going, I just left."

Aaron wiped the tears flowing down your cheeks gently, pulling you into a hug. "I'm so sorry darling. You didn't deserve any of that, I can't even believe someone could be so cruel to you." He shook his head a little. You couldn't help sobbing, you knew you had more to tell him but your body wasn't physically letting you. You had opened a lot of old wounds with this conversation, a lot of trauma resurfacing.

"T-There's more." You manage to choke out. Hotch pulls away to look into your eyes again.

"What is it?" His soft voice combined with his concerned stare almost makes you melt, he was your safety.

"A couple of months ago, right after I had joined the BAU, weird things started happening. At the beginning it was just a couple of stupid creepy texts and I tried to ignore it. But then it escalated to weird personal gifts, like my favorite wine. It was creepy but I could deal with it, until a couple of days ago when my apartment was broken into and ransacked. The day I was practically falling asleep in work, I had spent all night cleaning up my destroyed furniture." You chew on your lip anxiously, you should've told him sooner. "Then tonight, there was a picture of us two on the date left on my kitchen island and there was blood on my wall, spelling out 'slut' and I lost it.. I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry, I know I should've told you sooner-"

"Stop, don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for." Aaron reassured you. You had started rambling and he knew he had to stop you. His hand still held yours gently, his thumb rubbing up and down on the side of your hand. "We'll figure this out, we'll find him."

"Can we not get the team involved, please? I'm not ready to explain this to them." You could feel your heart beating out of your chest. 

Aaron gave you a look. "You know that's our only hope at solving this case?"

You frown. "I don't want to be a 'case' though Aaron. I don't want to be a victim." He sighs, he knew this was one fight he wouldn't win.

"You'll have to move in here then, for your safety." He looks at you intensely. He knew it was the opposite of taking things slow, but then again, neither of you were good at slow.

You manage to crack a joke through your slight tears. "So, what happened to 'taking it slow'?" You giggle which also makes him chuckle.

"We were pretty bad at that anyway, sweetheart." He reminds you and you shrug and nod a little.

"You're right." You lean in to place a soft kiss on his lips. "We'll have a lot of packing to do at my apartment. I have a lot of stuff." You were only half joking.

"Oh don't worry about that. I'll have space for you.

-

You and Hotch living together didn't really come as much of a surprise to the rest of the team. Everyone knew you two were simply infatuated with each other and it made perfect sense you two wouldn't want to spend any time apart. It was good, since it meant you wouldn't have to worry about them finding out the underlying cause of your hasty relocation. It also seemed to eliminate the stalker situation, at least for the time being, which was good enough for you. You would deal with it properly when the time came, for now, you were enjoying living with Aaron.

You two had quite the routine, you always drank coffee and had some breakfast together in the morning. You usually made the breakfast. Aaron had tried his attempt at some fancy blueberry pancakes and they tasted good but they were awfully misshaped and not very appealing to look at, so he left most of the cooking to you and he just helped however he could. He always made the coffee though, he made the best coffee ever.

You were sat on the kitchen island with a cup of said coffee in your hand, sipping on it and watching as Aaron washed up the dishes from breakfast. He always said it was only fair if he cleaned up since you had done the preparing, so you let him. He placed the last dish on the drying rack and dried his hands on the little towel that you insisted on keeping there before turning to you, placing his hands on your waist gently.

"Have I ever told you how good you look in my clothes?" He smiled softly, looking into your eyes and you glanced down at his t-shirt which you practically drowned in. You blushed lightly.

"Hmm.. maybe, but I like hearing it." You giggle and shrug. He runs his fingers up and down your side, making you giggle a little more since you were slightly ticklish. He leaned in and placed a couple of kisses along the length of your jaw.

"Well, you look exquisite." He mumbled against your skin. His compliments had a way of sending shivers down your spine. You sigh softly and let him keep kissing his way down your neck.

However, just as quickly as you relaxed, you were ripped from your thoughts by the sound of both of your phones. That could only mean one thing. You groan loudly which makes Aaron chuckle. You grab your phone and check it, sure enough, there's a text from JJ.

'we have a new case. sorry :/'

You slide off the island with another sigh. "Well, so much for our relaxing morning." You complain slightly. You loved your job, saving lives and all the rest, but that didn't mean you had to love it all the time.

"I know sweetheart. Don't worry, we'll have many chances for mornings like this." Aaron reassured you as you both made your way upstairs quickly to get dressed and grab your go bags. You were both somewhat neat which definitely made living together easier. You were always prepared. 

You both get ready quickly before making your way to the bureau together, his hand taking it's spot on your thigh as he drove. You loved car rides with him, and you couldn't help but notice the playlist you made for him was his go-to car playlist now. You always sang along to the songs and Hotch found it adorable so he didn't say anything and simply listened to you, even glancing over every so often because seeing you like that would always put a smile on his face.

-

It seemed as though all your recent cases were particularly hard ones. They were never easy, but the last few were really taking a toll on the team. So, you all decided you needed another team night out. Or rather, Garcia decided and everyone had no choice but to agree with her, because you simply didn't say no to Penelope Garcia. You wouldn't admit it to everyone else but you were weirdly excited. This was going to be your first night out with Aaron as an actual couple who lived together. The thought of you two living together still made you smile, everything was working out well for once.

You and Hotch had showered together that evening which meant you had taken much longer than you should have in the bathroom, being a woman, you were naturally stressed about the time pressure that put you under for getting ready. Aaron didn't worry because to him, you would look perfect no matter what you wore or how you thought you looked. Besides, the team wouldn't care if you two were a little late anyway. As you did your hair and makeup in the mirror, he couldn't help but stare at you a little. He looked at how perfectly the expensive dress you wore hugged your figure, and how the equally expensive heels made your legs look even better than usual.

As you finished up getting ready, you noticed that Aaron had disappeared. You knew he had been watching you for a while as you got ready and that made you smile, but you pretended you didn't notice. You walked out into the hallway, your heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

"Aaron?" You called out, looking around a little. It was then that he walked out of his office, carrying a small box which made you raise an eyebrow at him. "What's that?" You asked curiously. He stayed silent until he opened the box, there laid a gorgeous silver necklace with a pendant of your name in cursive. There was a small diamond at the edge of the first letter of your name and the same kind of small diamond at the edge of the last letter of your name. You couldn't help but gasp softly.

"It's just a little something to show my appreciation." He smiled, taking it out of the box and gently getting you to turn around so he can put it on you before you can object.

"You know, you really shouldn't have. You're spoiling me!" You shake your head, turning to look at him again once it's on. "But thank you, I love it." You lean in to kiss him on the lips gently, which he reciprocated.

"You're most welcome. Now, we really have to get going." He reminds you, to which you nod and grab your purse, making your way downstairs with him where a taxi was waiting for you since both of you would be drinking.

The car ride to the bar you were meeting the team in was short since it was quite close to Aaron's place, or rather your shared place now. It was a good bit further from your old place. You both walk in hand in hand as you proudly sported the necklace that rested around your neck. JJ was the first to notice the necklace.

"Wow, Y/N. That is one beautiful necklace!" She immediately stood up to inspect it as you blushed.

"Thank you, it was a spontaneous surprise gift from Aaron." You bit your lip a little as Morgan wolf whistled.

"Look at you, Hotchner, buying the expensive gifts already!" Morgan chuckled and so did Hotch.

"Only the best for my girl." Aaron glanced at you as he said that and you almost felt your legs get weak underneath you, so you slid down beside him, leaning in to quickly kiss him on the cheek.

Garcia squealed a little at that. "You two are just totally adorable!" She smiled widely. You and Hotch intertwined your fingers again underneath the table and you both smiled back lightly.

It didn't take long for the entire team to become mildly intoxicated. You and Hotch were still sat together, drinking and laughing with Rossi and Emily. Garcia had managed to get Morgan and Reid up to dance by some miracle and JJ was off playing darts somewhere. It was nice for all of you to relax a little bit and enjoy a normal evening that wasn't consumed with psychopaths and serial killers. Somehow, you managed to run out of your drink quicker than everyone else.

"I'm all out. I'm gonna get myself another one." You grinned as you stood up, testing your legs. You weren't quite drunk enough to stumble, yet. Hotch looked over at you.

"Will you be okay on your own?" He raised an eyebrow which made you chuckle.

"Yes, yes I will. Remember, I'm a strong, independent, FBI lady." You wink and make your way to the bar, getting distracted on the way by a conversation with Garcia about something random that you definitely wouldn't remember in half an hour. Once you finally made it to the bar and slid into one of the stools, ordering your drink, Hotch had wondered where you'd gone. He made his way to the bar, spotting you sitting in a stool with a guy sitting beside you.

"Oh, honey, let me buy you that drink." The guy was clearly drunk, and clearly all over you. Even from a couple of steps away, he could see the disgust on your face.

"No, thank you." You smiled with fake politeness and took out money to pay for your own drink, but the guy was persistent.

"Oh come on, it's one drink, it won't hurt." He leaned a little closer which was when Aaron decided to step forward, putting a hand on the guys shoulder.

"Hey, she said no thank you." He stared at the guy as you turned around quickly, a little startled but your body relaxed once you saw Aaron.

"Who are you?" The guy laughed and shook his head, clearly he didn't find Hotch that intimidating, or maybe he was just good at hiding it.

"I'm her boyfriend." Hotch kept his stone cold exterior, still staring at the guy.

You chimed in. "He's also an FBI Agent." You wink and laugh softly as the guy stands up and walks away, maybe a little too abruptly. You pay for your drink finally and start walking back to the booth with Aaron, when you stop him for a second, a devilish smirk on your face.

"Were you jealousssssss Aaron?" You lean in somewhat close to him and he rolls his eyes jokingly.

"Shut up." He shakes his head.

You keep smirking. "You were! Oh, you're totally falling in love with me."

You weren't wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i finally finished this chapter! what i said in the first note on this chapter definitely didn't happen, this chapter took me so long to write because i'm sooo unmotivated and i had a crazy week.
> 
> i'm sorry if this chapter sucks but i wrote it after a couple days of work at like 12am soooo, this really is a trend for me, huh? 
> 
> anywayssssss i love you all so much... she finally told Hotch everything ( or maybe not everything ;) ) but, don't worry, Y/N's stalker is not gone just like that, he will be making a return ;)
> 
> also i'm thinking i can get started on my main plot point soon i just want to make sure this story is somewhat fleshed out and their relationship is developed before i completely ruin it!
> 
> as always all feedback is appreciated!


	7. Paper Rings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since you guys love all the domestic fluff so much and i feel like i want to flesh this story out a bit more, i think i might do another two chapters of almost pure fluff with some career stuff! i love writing fluff but i don't want the story to get boring as i have so much planned for it ... 
> 
> tw for mention of gunshots, kidnapping, case details <3

Over the following two months, cases seemed to slow down for the team. This meant a lot more paperwork in the office for everyone to do, especially Hotch. However, it also meant a lot more weekends off at home and you definitely wouldn't ever complain about time spent at home with Aaron. You had almost fallen into a comfortable schedule, since you had one case every two weeks, if even. You and Aaron spent most of your Saturdays and Sundays alone together, apart from a usual hangout on one of the weekend evenings in the home of one of the team members. It usually ended up being Rossi's. 

Friday afternoon was always the hardest, time seemed to sluggishly roll by as everyone tried to finish their paperwork. You let out a yawn that came out louder than anticipated which made Emily look over and chuckle.

"Tired, Y/N?" She raised an eyebrow and you nodded, stretching a little in your chair.

"Sitting here is more tiring than actually being out on a case." You complained slightly. The grass was always greener on the other side.

Emily nods. "I get that. Something about sitting in a chair all day is exhausting." She pulls a face. You both sigh at the exact same time which made you chuckle. Another twenty tireless minutes of filling out paperwork went by until Garcia came bursting into the bullpen.

"Y/N, Emily, Jayje. Girls night, tonight, at my place, it is mandatory so do not even try to argue with me!" She stands in front of all of you as you all stare back at her. The three of you knew better than to argue with her, you knew girls nights were impossible to say no to, so you just laugh lightly and nod in agreement.

"I'm in." You smile at Garcia, to which she responds with an excited clap of her hands and an even wider smile than yours.

"Me too." JJ agrees, mirroring your bright smile.

"Me three." Emily shrugs and chuckles, which only encourages Garcia's excitement.

"Amazing! We can watch movies and eat pizza and drink wine and gush and gossip about everyone's love life." She keeps rambling as she heads back to her cave-like office, but none of you can really make out what she's saying. As you finish off the last bit of your paperwork for the day you decide it would be a good time to drop into Aaron's office and make him aware of your plans for the night. You gathered up any of the paperwork he had to sign off on and made your way up the stairs to his office, using your signature knock so he knew it was you before walking inside. The corners of his lips turn up ever so slightly when he sees you.

"Hey." He looks up at you from his chair so he can make eye contact. As you looked down at him, you couldn't help but chuckle at how weird that felt, you were quite a bit shorter than him so you were used to looking up at him. His words snapped you out of your thoughts. "What are you laughing about?"

You shake your head. "Nothing, nothing. I was just thinking about how usually it's you looking down at me, not vice versa." You shrug.

"You're right." It was his turn to chuckle lightly now.

You place the paperwork down on his desk. "Here's all of your stuff to sign off on. Oh, also, Garcia invited me and the two other girls to girls night at her place, so unfortunately you'll be missing me tonight." You pout, only half jokingly. He stands up and walks around to stand in front of you, placing his hands on your sides.

"Now, what am I going to do without you all evening?" He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You lean in so your lips are mere inches from his.

"Hmm.. I think you'll be able to find some way to keep yourself busy." You chuckle softly.

"I don't know about that, darling. I can't believe you're abandoning me like this." He jokes, he would never stop you from enjoying time with your friends. He knew it was hard enough to have a social life with your demanding jobs and you did a damn good job at balancing it all.

"I'll make it up to you." You almost whisper, kissing him softly. He smiles slightly into the kiss before kissing you back, pulling you in a little closer. Your lips would always send electricity coursing through his body, you were his kryptonite. You both stood there kissing each other for a little while until you pulled away for a breath.

"I hope that's a hint for how you'll make it up to me." He smirks ever so slightly and raises an eyebrow. You wink quickly.

"You'll just have to be patient and wait and see." You lean in and kiss along his jaw.

"I can't wait."

-

The rest of the day went surprisingly fast. You managed to make it home somewhat early to pack a couple of essentials into a bag before heading to Garcia's. You liked to be early, whether it was to something important like a flight, or something as simple as girls night. You really didn't like being late. So, when you showed up way before JJ and Emily, Garcia wasn't even a tiny bit surprised.

"Y/N!" She greeted you with a hug as she let you inside to where she had set up snacks and wine for all of you. Garcia was the best girls night planner. She had laid out blankets and pillows on the floor and sofas, and set up Netflix for movie choices. You smiled brightly.

"Penelope Garcia, you outdo yourself every time." You chuckle softly as you set your bag down and take your usual seat on one of the sofas.

"We haven't had girls night in aaaagessss. We need it to be a good one." She grinned and shrugged a little, taking her own seat on the other sofa. Emily and JJ always sat on the floor together, so you knew you could stretch your legs out on the sofa.

Within the next half an hour, both JJ and Emily had arrived and you had all settled into your seats with a glass of wine in each hand while you waited for the pizza you had just ordered.

"So, Y/N, how's Hotch?" JJ smirked as she turned to you, instantly making you blush. You wanted nothing more than to gush to them about how amazing Aaron was and how different he was at home to how he is in the office, but you were never sure how much was too much and you didn't know how much he would appreciate you sharing. Today, however, you were already a glass and a half of wine in and your rational thinking was slightly clouded.

"He's the best man I've ever been with. Seriously, he's amazing. We just.. connect. It's like he can read my thoughts and he knows me better than I even know myself. He's my soulmate." You can't help but smile at the sheer thought of your relationship, everything was perfect. The three other women let out an audible 'awww' which only makes you blush again.

Emily, who had probably drank prior to arriving here, now had a bit of a mischievous grin on her face. "More importantly, how's the sex?"

You choke a little on the sip of wine you had just taken. "Emily!" You shake your head at her.

"What?" She looks around at JJ and Garcia. "So you're both going to pretend you aren't curious?" She rolled her eyes jokingly.

JJ's face was taken over by a sheepish smile. "If I'm being completely honest, I am curious."

Garcia sighed in relief. "Yeah, me too. Like, totally."

"Well, Y/N, spill." Emily turned to look at you again and you swore you must've been bright red.

"Okay, fine." You suck in a sharp breath. "It's earth shattering, actually. Best sex I've ever had. But, if any of you mention that I told you guys to Aaron, I'll have to kill you all." You threaten and Emily puts her hands up in defense.

"What happens in girls night stays in girls night." Garcia decided with a little nod, to which Emily and JJ agreed. You were satisfied with that, you knew you could trust them.

The pizza arrived shortly after that and you were thankful for it as it saved any more awkward questions about your relationship. You picked a movie to turn on while you all ate but none of you actually payed attention to it. The four of you kept chatting about random things, from future plans to your favorite TV characters. It only took another hour and a half or so before you were all considerably drunk.

"Ooo, we should play truth or dare!" JJ suggested as she laid on her back on the floor. You all cheered in agreement, apparently that was a good idea. It only took twenty minutes for your game to be in full swing.

"Y/N, truth or dare?" Emily turned to you, smirking.

"I'm an adventurous woman, dare." You shrugged, leaning back in your seat and trying to not seem nervous about what Emily might possibly come up with.

"I dare you to call Hotch and flirt with him, on speaker." She keeps smirking as you groan.

"That's mean!" You complain in hopes that she'll give in, but no such luck. You reach for your phone, knowing you weren't getting out of this and dial Aaron's number.

"Aww, you have his name saved as Aaron with love hearts!" Garcia giggled and you blushed for the countless time that night. The phone rings a couple of times before he picks up.

"Hey sweetheart, is everything okay?" You could hear how tired he was in his voice.

"I'm fineeee. I just miss you. I miss your kiss, your lips, your touch." You put on your best flirty voice, trying to forget about the three women sitting across from you, analyzing you.

"Are you drunk?" Aaron chuckled and you could imagine him shaking his head.

"Noooo... Well, maybe a little, but that's not the point. The point is that I want you. I need you." You try not to blush even more than you already are when you look at Emily and she smirks at you. JJ mouths 'You go girl!' at you and you swore you'd never been this embarrassed.

Aaron wasn't stupid, and he caught on pretty quickly. "Emily, JJ, Garcia. Hello." He laughs down the phone lightly again and Emily groans.

"You're no fun, Hotchner." She rolls her eyes, even though she knows he won't see her. JJ and Garcia both blush a little.

"Sorryyyyy, I was forced to do this." You giggled and stuck your tongue out at Emily.

"Oh, I know baby. But we're going to pick up this conversation tomorrow when you're home." You can hear the smirk in his voice as shivers run down your spine. Damn him. JJ widens her eyes a little as Emily laughs a little.

"O-Oh. Okay.. See you tomorrow, bye!" You hang up quickly and groan. "I hate you guys." You complain and shake your head.

Emily laughs again. "Ohhh, you're getting railed tomorrow."

You throw a pillow at her, hard.

-

That weekend went quite quickly and suddenly you were back in work again. Mondays without a case were always easy. Everyone was well rested and the day didn't drag quite like Fridays did. You were all expecting a new case, it had been a while, but there was nothing. So, you and Aaron found yourselves cuddling on the sofa after work.

"Y/N?" Aaron whispers against the side of your head.

"Hmm?" You tilt your head to look into his eyes.

"Do you have any siblings? I know it's a random question, I'm just curious." He looks back into your eyes as you nod.

"Yeah, a little sister. She's sixteen." You smile softly, you and your family had a good relationship. Aaron returned the soft smile.

"Are you close with her?"

You nod a little again. "Yeah, I try to text or call as often as I can, but I haven't seen her in a while." You smile a little more at the thought of your sister. She was your best friend and biggest supporter.

Aaron watched you intensely, he could read you like an open book. "Do you ever think about going home, to visit?"

"Yeah, often. It's just hard to find time, you know our schedules." You chuckle and shrug. He nods this time.

"You know, darling, you can have time off to visit family if it's necessary." He runs his fingers up and down your arm gently and you relax into his touch a little.

"I know, thank you. I'll probably just see them at Christmas. That's soon by the way, our first Christmas together." You grin, leaving a small kiss on his jaw. He smiles back at you.

"Oh I know, I can't wait." He tilts your head with his fingers so he can kiss you properly, which you reciprocate immediately. You let yourself enjoy the feeling, you really could just kiss him all day. It was like a jolt of electricity was sent through your body each time you touched slightly, let alone when you kissed. You always thought the feeling of sparks flying was a fairytale and Hollywood thing, it turns out you had just been kissing the wrong people. No matter how many times you and Aaron kissed, it always felt just as exhilarating as the first time. You were truly in love with him, and you had known that for a while.

-

You all knew this lack of cases wouldn't last, so when JJ stood at the top of the stairs to the bullpen and announced that you had a new case, no one was really surprised.

"We have a family annihilator turned kidnapper in Iowa that we're being called in to help with." JJ began as you all gathered around the round table. "This unsub killed two families without taking a hostage until the third family, the Dawson's. He left the mother alive and killed the father and the son. Then he kidnapped the six year old daughter." JJ flicked through the slides on the screen as she spoke.

"That's a drastic change of M.O." You comment and receive mutters of agreement.

"Why kidnap the daughter now? And why leave a victim alive?" Morgan thought out loud.

"Mrs Dawson's survival was likely a bit of disorganization on his part. They just about managed to fix the damage in the hospital." JJ alerted you all.

"So what made him become disorganized?" It was Rossi's turn to think aloud.

"Whatever it was, the local PD needs our help. There's no doubt the media will be all over this. Wheels up in 30." Hotch sighed, the other team members standing up and going to sort out any last minute essentials before leaving. You hadn't moved. You always found any case involving children hard. You weren't sure why, maybe it was some deep seeded maternal instinct. Hotch turned to you, taking your hand in his gently. "Are you okay?"

You're snapped out of your thoughts and you nod. "Yeah, sorry. Just, children, you know. I can't even imagine how the mother feels." You pull a face at the thought and Aaron nods.

"It's never easy with cases like this. But it's all the more reason for us to catch this bastard." He stood up slowly, holding out a hand to help you up.

-

The unsub was easy to find by name, but his location was much harder. You knew everything about him, except for where him and six year old Lyndy Dawson were. It was hard for the team to stay motivated, you were all trying and it seemed to be all for nothing. You weren't getting any closer to locating the unsub. You weren't sleeping much, not that anyone on the team was sleeping an awful lot. 

You all ran on copious amounts of coffee, a cup in everyone's hand as you all stared at the files for the millionth time, as if that might change something. You had a permanent headache throughout this case. You needed to find the unsub, and soon, but you were afraid of sending him into a panic which would result in him hurting Lyndy.

It was when a call came into the police station that someone saw a man matching the unsubs description get into a car, which matched the description of the car your unsub drove, with a young girl, that everyone immediately set off to their SUV's. You all tried your best to get there quickly and head in the same direction as the car was headed in, splitting up in hopes of cornering him. However, no such luck. It seemed as though the unsub was one step ahead of you all. You lost it a little, you got out of the SUV for a breath of air.

"Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck this, fuck everything." You had to let your anger out. You could feel Aaron and Reid staring at you from the SUV, not that you cared much. You took a couple of really deep breaths before returning to the car in silence, letting Aaron drive you back to the police station. You all felt extremely defeated as you gathered in the conference room of the precinct again.

"How was he able to outsmart us? He wouldn't have known we were even onto him, we should have been able to catch him." Morgan shakes his head. The room goes silent for minutes while everyone thinks, until you have a 'lightbulb over your head' kind of moment.

"He must have access to the police radio, he would've been able to hear details of the chase and swiftly avoid it." You puff out a breath.

Prentiss nods. "That makes perfect sense."

"We need to avoid using that radio. We can set up a new radio system with the local PD and use that." Hotch looked over the files as he sighed.

You all got to work on a plan, You and JJ were to stay at the precinct and help out the rest of the team while they split up in their SUV's. Once of the local police officers had issued a fake message on the police radio that the unsub was listening in on, in an effort to try and trap him. The team had put their bullet proof vests on and organized into their split teams. You stopped Aaron before he left.

"Be careful, please." You glance around to make sure no one was directly watching before placing a quick kiss on his lips. You always worried that little bit more when you and Hotch were split up like this during a case. He offered you a small smile.

"Don't worry sweetheart. I'll see you soon." He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear before walking away slowly, leaving you to return to the conference room and sit down with JJ.

"You and Hotch are a perfect match, you know?" JJ smiled as she looked over at you. You blushed softly and offered a smile back.

"Thanks, JJ. He's my soulmate." You chuckle lightly before you both focus on working again. You had to keep in steady contact with the team while they tracked down the unsub.

"Okay, we're just about here. It seems to be empty. Hotch, what's the front like?" Morgan spoke over the phone which was connected between each member of the team so everyone knew what was going on. There was a bit of silence before Aaron spoke.

"Me and Prentiss are here now, it seems empty too." He pauses, probably to look around more closely. "Oh, hold o-" He didn't finish the sentence before some gunshots rang out right before the phone call shut out from their end, leaving you and JJ on the line with Garcia.

"What was that?" You looked at JJ, panic evident in both of your eyes. "JJ, what the HELL was that?" You swore your heart could beat out of your chest.

"Y/N, we don't know what happened, maybe the shots were fired from our side." She tried to reason with you, even though you both knew it was highly unlikely that was the case.

"Neither one of us believes that." You shook your head and swallowed the lump in your throat. As you shifted through files, just trying to give yourself something to do, a report came through on the police radio.

'Shots fired at federal agents, suspect is heading down route 58, Lyndy Dawson is suspected to be with him. We're following.' The officer over the radio spoke quickly and you almost didn't have time to register it. You still didn't know who was shot and it killed you. All you could see was the worst, Hotch with a deadly gunshot wound. You knew it was selfish to not think about the rest of the team but you couldn't, not right now. In the midst of your freaking out, something snapped within you. You grabbed the receiver of the police radio the unsub was listening in on.

"Jason Coolers. I know you can hear this. I'm just asking for you to listen to me. I know you just want to protect her, trust me, I know how that feels. But Lyndy Dawson is not your sister, her father wasn't your father. There is a very worried mother waiting, hoping.. praying that she gets her little girl back." You paused and inhaled shakily. "I know he hurt you, and I know he hurt your sister, Kate. But he's gone, he can't hurt anyone anymore. You're doing the hurting now. You've hurt a lot of people and it's time to stop. Please, please just let Lyndy go safely. The best thing you can do for her is to let her go home. You can go home too, there's been enough hurting. There's been enough pain. You can be safe again." You took your finger off the button and collapsed back into the chair, tears welling up in your eyes and starting to run down your cheeks.

JJ put her hand on your shoulder. "Y/N-"

You cut her off. "Please just tell me Aaron's alright." The silence that followed made your heart almost stop. "JJ, I need to know that he's alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, i know. this ending was mean ;) this idea actually came to me in the middle of writing and i couldn't help myself.. i promise i meant for this chapter to be fluffy and cute, and it was in a way.. just not at the end
> 
> i'm sorry my updates are slow recently i've had a lottttt going on and just been struggling to find time but hopefully things will calm down a bit now and i can update much more often!
> 
> i love all of you so much, please keep leaving comments and feedback it makes my day and gives me so much motivation! <33


	8. Welcome to New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoping to get this update out somewhat soon but we'll see how it goes :/ i'm so annoyed because i'm just so busy with work and everything else currently and i find it hard to find time to write, but i'm trying! i promise!
> 
> tw for mention of gunshot wounds ig?

You almost run into the hospital room, breathing a sigh of relief when you see Aaron sitting up and alert. He smiles as you walk in.

"Hi sweetheart." He looks right at you and a shiver runs down your spine and you try not to cry.

"I thought you were dead." Your lip quivers a little bit as you walk closer to him. You really had thought the worst when you didn't know what happened to the team.

"I'm okay though. It's only my shoulder." He shakes his head, a sling supporting his left arm. you take his right hand in yours and bite your lip.

"I know.. I just, I couldn't help but think the worst. I know it's silly." You sigh deeply. You would never be able to express exactly how much you cared about him.

"You were worried about me, that's okay. But I'm just fine, they're even letting me go home today as long as I'm careful." He reassured you, squeezing your hand gently. You took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay, well you're going to have to do a lot of resting at home. I'm not letting you do anything strenuous." You look at him with a stern expression that was only really half a joke. He chuckles and shakes his head at you.

"Whatever you say darling." He raises an eyebrow.

You helped with the discharge papers, getting Hotch out of the hospital fairly quickly. You had insisted on driving. You spoke to the doctor yourself and he gave you a set of rules to follow on what Aaron was allowed to do and what he wasn't allowed to do in order to avoid the risk of re-injury. You spent the drive home listening to one of your playlists, Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood was one of the particular songs that made Hotch chuckle.

"This song is very.. bold." He stated, glancing over at you. You chuckled at him and shook your head, keeping your eyes on the road.

"It's a good song! You can't lie." You shrugged and continued to drive, singing along to the words softly.

The drive went fairly quickly for both of you and you soon pulled up outside of what was now your shared house, your apartment long forgotten. However, you kept paying the lease on it, just in case. You parked the car outside and got out, unlocking the door for both of you so that Aaron wouldn't even try to fuss around looking for keys. He gave you a little look but he didn't say anything, silently heading inside with you.

"Are you hungry? Or do you maybe want some tea?" You turn to him and look into his eyes.

"Don't baby me, Y/N. I'm alright." He tried to convince you, but it didn't work very well.

"Well I have strict orders from the doctor, so I will be following those." You shake your head and shrug slightly. He moves closer, taking your hand in his healthy one and pulling you into him as far as he can before you stop in order to not lean against his shoulder.

"There's only one thing I need right about now." He smirks and leans in, kissing you deeply. His lips love against yours expertly and you let yourself relax into the feeling a little. You kiss him back passionately, resting a hand on his cheek and feeling the stubble that appeared there after he hadn't been shaving for only a couple of days. You smile into the kiss. You feel his healthy hand roam around your body, down your sides, squeezing your waist softly before moving on down and feeling the curves of your ass. His hand feels around your ass for a while, pulling you in closer by your ass.

"I don't wanna hurt your shoulder." You pant against his lips and he shakes his head.

"You aren't." He goes back to kissing you as you allow yourself to be pulled in a little closer this time. However, you stay cautious to not touch off his shoulder too much. The kiss gradually gets a little more heated as he leads you back to the kitchen counter and lets you jump up onto it, helping you with his one capable arm. He stands between your legs, letting you wrap them around his waist and pull him in. His lips trail down slowly, kissing along your jaw, then down to your neck. He stays at your neck for a while, sucking and nibbling on the skin in the way that he knows drives you crazy.

He leaves a couple of marks along your neck before trailing down to your collarbone, leaving a small mark there too as he runs his fingers along your thigh. His lips move a little further down then, to the top of your breast. He kisses along a little before sucking the skin in and swirling his tongue around, expertly leaving marks on your softly tan skin. You can't help but let out a light whine. As he starts to pull at your shirt to take it off, you have to stop him. You place a hand on his wrist. 

"No sex. It's too much of a strain on your shoulder." You remind him, looking into his eyes. There's nothing you wanted more than to strip down and go at it right there, in the middle of the kitchen and, in any other circumstance, you probably would've done it.

"That's just wrong. Sex doesn't strain my shoulder." He tries to move his hand out of your grasp but you don't let him.

"Aaron. I promised the doctor I would follow all his rules." You give him your stern, almost motherly face and he sighs and grumbles a little, but doesn't say anything.

"Can we at least go upstairs and cuddle?" He looks at you with a raised eyebrow, as if challenging you.

You nod and chuckle. "That we most certainly can do.

-

Christmas time came around the corner quickly. Aaron hadn't been one for decorating the outside of the house in previous years, he just didn't feel the need to. Usually him and Rossi ended up spending Christmas time together, considering they had both been alone. But it was different this year. You were there, and you loved outdoor decorations and everything to do with Christmas. Aaron's shoulder had healed but was still sensitive and he still had to be careful, just in case something ended up popping out of place. So you did as much of the Christmas decorations as you possibly could.

"Y/N, you're not doing the outdoor lights on your own." He shook his head at you as if you had just suggested something crazy.

"Excuse me, Aaron Hotchner, but I think I'm perfectly capable of climbing up on a ladder and hanging up those lights." You cross your arms over your chest and stare right at him with your best intimidating face on. He just laughed a little.

"You haven't let me do anything else, darling. At least let me do the lights." He stared right back at you until you broke the gaze with a small huff.

"Fine." You mumbled. "But I'm helping you and making sure you don't hurt that shoulder of yours." You sigh and he nods a little, kissing your cheek.

"I can agree to those terms." 

It doesn't take the two of you long to get the lights up, with Hotch up on the ladder and you helping him from the ground. He was surprisingly skilled at this, considering he hadn't done it for at least a couple of years. You finish as it just about starts to become dark, admiring your work once all the lights turn on. He wraps an arm around you as you stand outside the house and take in all the decorations.

"We did a good job." You smile and look at him. He turns his head to look back at you and nod slightly.

"That we did." He leans in, kissing you softly. "Now let's go inside before we freeze."

-

You had made a plan with the rest of the team, you would all spend Christmas Eve together and then head off to wherever was in store for each individual person in the evening. Most of the team were heading home to see family, even Prentiss made plans with her mother. JJ and Will had a schedule for visiting both of their families, Morgan was heading home to his mom and sisters, Reid was spending time with his mother. Garcia had plans with Kevin and even Rossi made plans with one of the ex wives this year. Hotch didn't speak much about his family so you didn't push him, you knew his childhood had been rough and you also knew he would tell you details when he felt comfortable to do so. It's not like you didn't have anything you hadn't told him about.

Four days before Christmas, your phone rang. Your sister's name, Allie, flashed across the screen. You stood up from the sofa to take the call, putting the phone up to your ear. Hotch must've noticed the surprise on your face because he was now watching you intensely.

"Hello?" You try not to seem anxious, you knew they wanted to invite you home for Christmas, but would Aaron want to meet your family? You couldn't help but worry it was too soon and too fast, even if everything else about you two had been fast and soon.

"Hi, Y/N. How are you?" Allie's voice rings through the phone, you missed her terribly, and you hadn't realized quite how much until now.

"I'm okay, hon. Is everything okay at home?" You chew on your lip. You could feel Hotch still looking at you, probably a little intrigued at your mention of home.

"Yeah.. Yeah. Just, you know, Christmas is really soon and we haven't seen you in a while and Dad really misses you. We just.. We were wondering if you're going to come home for Christmas?" She sounded a little upset, and you couldn't really blame her. It had been a while since you reached out.

"Allie.. I'm not sure. I'll have to talk to-" You stop yourself, should you call Aaron your boyfriend? You knew that's what he was, but saying it out loud made it all very official. "I'll just have to figure things out and then I'll let you know."

"You know whoever it is, you can invite them. Me and dad have been putting bets on how long you've been in a relationship." She chuckles a little and you choke on your own saliva.

"Okay, I am going to call you back." You hang up as you feel yourself go a little red, how did they figure you out so quickly? You were meant to be the profiler here. You sit back on the sofa and look at Aaron.

"That was your sister, wasn't it?" He takes your hand in his and you nod slowly.

"God, everyone is profiling me today." You chuckle before becoming serious again. "She invited me home for Christmas, and told me to bring whoever I'm dating with me. But, I know it's really like.. soon, and you might not want to meet my family so I completely understand if you say no." You rambled on nervously, stopping when you heard Hotch laughing. "Why are you laughing?" You furrow your brows.

"Y/N, of course I want to meet your family." He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You let out a little sigh of relief.

"You do?" You smile brightly.

"I do." He nods, smiling back at you softly.

"I guess you're coming home with me for Christmas then." You wink.

"I can't wait."

-

You and Aaron had decided to drive to Garden City, your hometown. You had planned to make an appearance at the team's meet-up at Rossi's but somehow you both got consumed by packing and preparing for the four to five hour drive that by the time you were ready, you had to leave in order to not be there at two in the morning. You let Aaron inform Rossi that you unfortunately couldn't make it since your thoughts were consumed with seeing your family again and worrying about how they would react to Aaron. Deep down, you knew you had nothing to worry about and that they would both love him but the last man you brought home to them ended up hurting you more than imaginable.

"Sweetheart." Hotch's voice broke you out of your thoughts. You turned to give him a quick smile. "Are you ready to go?" He asked softly, to which you nodded.

"Yeah, let's get going." You stood up, helping him to finish packing your bags into the car along with some last minute gifts you had bought for your dad and Allie. Almost immediately after you two had decided to go home for Christmas you filled him in on everything he needed to know. How your mom walked out on your family when you were a preteen and Allie was only a baby which meant you practically raised your little sister. How your dad bent over backwards for you both but since he was a powerful and successful man in the business world, he couldn't be around as much as he would've liked. You had spent the whole evening talking about all things Y/L/N.

You had planned out where you two could stop for petrol on your drive and even some rest stops in case you really needed it, although you both knew you would try to avoid stopping for too long to avoid being extremely late. Aaron let a hand rest on your thigh as he drove, it was just how he always drove and you loved it. As usual, you sang along to the songs playing in the car and you knew Hotch had been secretly listening to your playlists when he joined in on singing along to The Man by Taylor Swift.

You and Aaron were a perfect match, really. During the drive, you balanced chatting and silence and random singing along to songs in a way that made the long drive feel as though it lasted twenty minutes. A shiver ran down your spine as you drove down the long driveway to your mansion-like home. You never bragged about having money, although everyone knew you were somewhat well off. Hotch certainly didn't expect this well off though and he couldn't find it in him to hide the slight shock.

"Yes, it's a very big house." You chuckle and shake your head. "Let's go." You snap him out of his thoughts as you both get out, going up to the door and ringing the doorbell. You tapped your foot a little, anxiously, so Aaron took your hand in his to reassure you and offered you a little smile as the door opened, revealing a teenage girl who really just looked like a younger version of you. She threw herself at you immediately, grinning like a little kid.

"Y/N! I'm so glad you're here!" She squealed into the hug and Hotch smiled to himself a little.

You breathed a small sigh of relief as you hugged your sister tight. Once she pulled away, you took your chance to introduce him.

"Allie, this is Aaron Hotchner, my boyfriend. Aaron, this is Allie, my kid sister." You made the introduction as Allie smiled and hugged Aaron, you could tell he was a little taken aback but he reciprocated the hug.

"It's really nice to meet you. Y/N has told me a lot about you." He smiled lightly, and Allie nodded.

"It's really nice to meet you too, finally. We were wondering what you would look like all this time." She chuckled, then clapped her hands together. "Well, come on in. We can worry about your bags later." She invited you both in. You walked further inside, into the first living room and saw your dad, immediately running at him and hugging him tight.

"Dad." You breathed softly, holding him close.

"Hi honey. It's so good to see you. You look great, so happy and healthy." He spoke softly as you pulled away, enjoying the moment for a few seconds before turning to Aaron. "And you must be the new man in my daughters life." He smiled, you knew that your dad could be incredibly intimidating, but he was really trying not to be.

"I am." He nodded. "Aaron Hotchner." Hotch introduced himself, holding out a hand to your father, which he accepted and shook.

"It's really great to meet you. I can tell when my daughter's happy from the first glance. Trust me when I say, she's most certainly happy." Your dad glances back at you as you stand there with a stupid smile plastered on your face. Aaron smiles too.

"She's something else, that daughter of yours." He chuckles softly and so does your dad.

"Oh don't I know it."

-

It was almost scary how well your dad got along with Aaron. They seemed to have an endless amount of topics to talk about and you couldn't be happier about that. You knew that your family would love him but this exceeded all expectations. Everything just felt right as you sat there with your little sister on her bed talking about life.

"Y/N, do you love Aaron?" She turned to look at you and you could feel yourself going bright red as you tried to remember what words were and how to speak them. You manage a nod.

"Yeah. You know, I've been thinking of a way to say it to him for weeks." You shake your head. "Nothing seems good enough."

"Aweeee, that's so cute!" Allie squeals and you 'shhh' her, in fear of Aaron hearing. "He definitely feels the same, I've seen how he looks at youuuu." She grins.

"Shh you, I don't want him to hear you squealing up here." You shake your head.

"Hey, I wouldn't be discrediting me right now. I have just come up with the perfect place for you to tell him." She continues to grin, but it's more triumphant now.

"Well, share your genius." You urge her on, looking at her intently.

"Do you remember when I was really young, like maybe nine or ten and you were home from college for Christmas?" She pauses, you nod to encourage her to keep talking. "Well, you took me on that walk in the snow and we ended up kinda lost but then we found that trail that leads to the incredible view. We must've gone up there every day of every single one of your returns home from college."

"That's genius. That is the perfect place." You nod, smiling at her. "Thank you, Allie. You're the best sister."

"Oh, don't I know it!" She calls out as you rush out of her room.

Somehow, you manage to convince Aaron to come on this walk with you without seeming too suspicious. You used the excuse of having eaten way too much over the last couple of days and needing to shed a couple calories off. So you both wrapped up in coats and scarves and went walking in the snow.

"You know, you're acting weird, sweetheart." He shakes his head as you lead him up the windy path.

You turn to look at him. "No I'm not! Can I not want to go on a walk with my boyfriend?" You raise an eyebrow and he puts his arms up in defense.

"You're right, you're right." He nods, and keeps walking along with you until you lead him out to the view point. Your own breath hitched in your throat a little, you had forgotten quite how nice the view was. It really had been a while since you'd been up here. You take a deep breath and turn to look at him.

"I have something to tell you." You look into his eyes as he nods slowly.

"You know, you're scaring me. You're not going to throw me down the cliff here or anything, are you?" He chuckles and you smack his arm lightly.

"Aaron.." You pause as your heart almost beats out of your chest. "I love you." You breathe out and Aaron breaks into a smile.

"I love you too darling, more than you could ever imagine." He leaned in and kissed you deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooo! i finally finished this chapter omg. this took me way too long i apologize oh so deeply. i feel like that's all i do?? apologize to you guys? but anyway, i'm sorry!
> 
> i hope the cuteness of this chapter makes up for it! this definitely isn't the most interesting chapter and not my best ( i know .. ) but it's really just a filler chapter as i try to flesh this story out!
> 
> as always, all your feedback is mucho appreciated! you all keep me motivated <3


	9. Girl At Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 2:30am as i start writing this so i deeply apologize for anything that seems weird .. i have weird writing times!
> 
> tw for stalking and case descriptions as usual also... smut at the beginning..

You and Aaron were both in high spirits after returning home for New Years. You spent a total of five days home with your family and every bit of it was memorable. You were still in awe of how well he got along with your dad and how much Allie liked him, she was a picky young girl, especially when it came to your relationships. Even as a child, she had never liked Justin, your ex. Your mind drifted back to all the creepy break ins and text messages and you shivered. You knew he was still there somewhere, but everything had been so quiet, so you didn't feel the need to stir things up. Hopefully your serious relationship with Aaron had scared him off, at least for a while.

You were both exhausted when you got home and you knew it was a good idea to come back on the 30th as opposed to New Year's Eve. You definitely were not ready to go out partying or drinking to ring in the new year. You needed some time to rest and some alone time with your boyfriend. It seemed that Aaron shared this requirement since you both collapsed on the sofa when you got home, bags still left unpacked and abandoned. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, you looked up at him with a little smile.

"Thank you." You whispered softly, maintaining eye contact. He stared at you with that piercing stare of his and you thought you might melt.

"For what?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"For the whole trip to visit my family. They loved you, not that I ever doubted you." You put a hand on his cheek.

"Mhmm, sure. You definitely thought I couldn't get along with them that well." He accused you jokingly, a playful smirk playing at his lips. You shake your head.

"Now you're just trying to annoy me." You roll your eyes, also jokingly. In one swift motion, he flips both of you over so you're lying on your back on the sofa and he's on top of you. His arm muscles tense as he uses one arm to hold up his weight, the other resting on your waist.

"Roll your eyes at me again and I'll give you something to roll them at." He challenged you and as much as you wanted to pretend it didn't affect you, your heart was now racing and heat made its way down to your core. He was way too good with his words.

"I-I'm...I.." You stutter and stumble over your words, struggling to form any coherent words, let alone a sentence. He chuckled darkly at that.

"Already speechless, are we?" He smirks, leaning down and sucking on the skin on your neck, leaving a mark for sure. You moan in response, arching your back into him a little. "So responsive for me.. such a little whore." He whispered in your ear, tracing his teeth along the outside of it before capturing your lips in a deep kiss. You kiss him back, already a little breathless as your hand moves up and tangles into his hair.

The kiss gets increasingly heated, his hands roaming your body. He moves a hand to cup your breast, letting you moan into his mouth in response. You arch your back a little, needing to be closer to him, to his touch. He chuckled into the kiss, pulling away to take his shirt off. You take the opportunity to pull your own shirt off, applauding yourself silently for your choice of underwear today. You knew the red lace push up bra and thong drove him crazy. Your thoughts were confirmed as you see his eyes rake over your chest, taking in the sight. He leans down to kiss at your neck, slowly trailing his lips down until he's sucking at the skin just above the fabric of the bra. You whine and arch your back again, you loved the foreplay but it was borderline teasing now.

"Patience, baby." He mumbles against your skin, not moving his lips until you stop arching and relax back down onto the sofa. "Good girl." His praise sends heat straight to your core and you struggle to not arch your back again, you needed more. He finally trails his lips further down, leaving a steady path of hickeys down your body until he reaches the top of your leggings, pausing to pull them down your legs. Once your leggings are flung somewhere in the room, he pulls back to look at you properly again. You can't help but blush under his intense stare, he smiles at you before moving back down to kiss you again, fingers finding their way into your underwear and where you need him most.

He circles your clit, teasing you on purpose now. You whine into his mouth. "Aaron.." You mumble against his lips.

"Use your words." He keeps intense eye contact, pulling away from your lips to let you speak.

"Please, I need you." Your chest heaves up and down as you breathe heavily. He smirks softly.

"My little slut." He goes back to kissing you deeply as he slips two fingers inside you, starting with a slow pace to ease you into it. You moan into his mouth, bucking your hips up a little to encourage him to go faster. He smirks into the kiss and grants you your wish, moving his fingers faster. You would never understand how he could make you such a moaning mess so quickly, he trails down your jaw with kisses before settling into leave a few more marks on your neck. They would be hard to cover for work, you thought to yourself. You were pulled out of your thoughts by his thumb finding your clit expertly, suddenly bringing you very close to the edge. You arch your back again.

"I'm-I'm close!" You whine, tilting your head back in pleasure. He doesn't let up, keeping the relentless pace to bring you to your orgasm. You fall over the edge, moaning out his name. He keeps going to coax you through your climax, pulling his fingers out once you're done and bringing them to your own lips. You open your mouth and take his fingers into it, swirling your tongue around them as you taste yourself. He groans softly.

"You look so good like that, with my fingers in that pretty little mouth." He pulls his fingers out with a little pop, watching the slight shake of your legs with a little chuckle. You decide he's done a lot for you today and it's time to return the favor. You push him back on the sofa and straddle his waist, moving your underwear-clothed pussy against him. He lets out a soft sigh and looks into your eyes. You rest your hands on his shoulders for balance and stability, continuing to move your hips. "Don't tease me now." He raises an eyebrow at you.

"Yes sir." You smirk, watching his eyes go a little darker at that. You knew he liked being called 'sir' in the bedroom. You get off his lap to help him get his jeans and boxers off, flinging them behind you before standing up, pulling your own thong off agonizingly slow. You liked putting on a show. You could feel him watching your every move as you fling the flimsy piece of material somewhere in the room, finding all your clothes would be a challenge. You unclasp your bra, keeping eye contact for a few moments before his eyes trail down to your, now fully naked, body. You wink at him before climbing onto his lap again, attaching your lips to his pulse point behind his ear as you lower yourself down onto his cock.

Even with all the foreplay, it was a bit of a stretch for you. He was big, and you loved how he filled you up. You moan against his skin as he bottoms out inside you. He lets out a moan too. "You feel so fucking good." He whispers to you, making a small tingle run down your spine. You give yourself a moment to adjust before starting to move up and down on his cock slowly, riding him. You knew he liked this, and you certainly didn't do it very often. You watched his brow furrow a little as you increase the pace and some moans and swears make their way out of his mouth. You liked taking control sometimes.

He moves his hips up to meet yours slightly, hitting that spot inside you with every thrust. You whine and throw your head back. He can't help but trail his eyes down to your breasts as they bounce. You both pick up the pace, and he reaches a hand down to rub your clit again. He knew you probably wouldn't need much help with your second orgasm, but he liked making it all a little more intense for you. The fast pace both of you set made it impossible for either of you to last long and you both fell over the edge with a loud moan of each others name. You still as he comes, letting both of you come down from the high before he helps you off his cock, your shaky legs not allowing for much. He puts on his boxers and jeans, leaving his shirt off before picking you up in his arms and carrying you upstairs. He sets you down on the bed gently and kisses your forehead.

"I'm going to run you a bath." He states softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before going into the bathroom. You sigh softly and smile to yourself. You were so in love.

-

You really thought Justin had given up, there hadn't been any weird texts or creepy deliveries since you moved out of your old apartment. Either he had lost track of you, or more likely, he had given up. You had just about stopped flinching when your phone's text ringtone rang through, and then there it was again. A text, with a picture of you and Aaron at your family home, with Allie and your dad. You and Allie had kept up the tradition of making hot chocolates for everyone around ( which now included the extra person, Aaron. )

You shivered as you stared at the photo, you were all so unaware of it being taken. Allie was sipping her hot chocolate and your dad was stroking your childhood dog while you and Aaron looked at each other, infatuation clear in your eyes.

'You're looking awfully comfortable there, aren't you?'

You shut off your phone and place it down on the kitchen counter a little bit too harshly, making Hotch turn around to look at you.

"Sorry, it slipped out of my hand." You fake a small smile. You knew it was a bad lie and he kept an eyebrow raised, however he didn't press you any further. You sigh softly, pouring yourself a glass of water. You nearly drop it when Aaron's phone rings.

"Yes. We'll be right there." He hangs up pretty quickly before turning to you again. "We have a case." You nod and down your glass of water before heading upstairs with Aaron to grab your go bags and make sure you're ready. You two got good at doing these things quickly, you were able to get organized and get to work in twenty minutes. The two of you got there at the same time as Emily, making your way to the round table and sitting down so JJ can present.

"We have a bank robbery turned hostage situation right here in D.C. The local authorities have asked us to intervene as they need a negotiator, the situation is too dangerous to go in with force so we have to work around it." JJ speaks, but you find it hard to focus. He knows where your family lives, of course he does. You have to remind yourself that you dated him and he will know a lot more about you than the usual stalker in a usual situation would. As you're sitting there, you get another text. It's a photo of Allie on her way home from school.

'She looks a lot like you, doesn't she?'

You chew on your lip anxiously, not even noticing that you've drawn blood until you get the taste of iron in your mouth. You shake your head, you really have to get it together. As you look around, you realize everyone's started to pack their files up and get to work. Aaron touches your shoulder gently.

"Are you okay, sweetheart? You seem very distracted today." He looks at you with concern laced through his facial features. You shake our head and fake a small smile again.

"Sorry, I'm just not feeling a hundred percent today." You place your hand over his on your shoulder gently. He frowns.

"If you need the day off, just say the word." He rubs his thumb up and down your hand that's resting on his.

"No, no. I'm okay. I promise." You stand up, leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. For the most part, you two kept your relationship out of the workplace except for little moments like this. You never wanted anyone to think that you were being favored or getting special treatment just because he was your unit chief. That's another reason why you didn't want to take the day off, even though you knew you probably should. It was dangerous to work a case with your current lack of focus, but you didn't want to alert anyone. 

You make your way down to the D.C. bank in the SUV's. You, Aaron, Emily and JJ were in one while Rossi, Morgan and Reid were in the other. Garcia sat in her office on standby, monitoring the situation on the banks security cameras. You all get there in a matter of minutes, getting out and going to the monitoring station set up outside the bank. SWAT were on standby, ready to go in there guns a blazing. You all knew it was unlikely you could send SWAT in without harming and potentially killing every hostage in there. So far it seemed as though there were at least fifteen innocent people in there, that was far too many to risk, even one person would be a big risk.

You decide to send Rossi off as the main negotiator, letting Aaron back him up while the rest of the team focused on analyzing the behavior of the unsubs through the security camera. That way, if any of you noticed anything, you could alert Hotch and Rossi to it and they would be able to build a clearer negotiation. However, you struggle to focus on the conversation with the rest of the team. Your mind floats to your family, surely Justin wouldn't hurt them. He had no reason to, his problem was with you and the fact that you weren't with him anymore. There was no reason to go after Allie or your dad. You don't even notice you're chewing on your lip again, breaking the skin in another place until Prentiss breaks you out of your thoughts.

"Hey, you okay? You're going to have no skin left if you keep biting your lip like that." She spoke quietly so as not to get the rest of the team involved. Luckily, Reid and Morgan were engrossed in the live security feed and JJ was busy directing the media. You nod.

"Sorry. I just got lost in thought. I'm fine." You pick at your fingernails a bit. Emily puts a hand on yours.

"Y/N, you're anything but fine. And don't accuse me of profiling you because you don't have to be a profiler to see that. What's going on?" She pressed, you knew she was looking out for you but you didn't want to tell her, you didn't need to. You hadn't even told Aaron that Justin resurfaced.

"It's nothing, just some personal stuff." You try your best to brush her off.

"Is it Hotch? Did he do something?" She raises an eyebrow, looking at you in a way that made you feel like she knew all of your thoughts. You shake your head immediately.

"No, no. Of course not. Just, drop it? Please Em?" You look back at her and she sighs.

"Fine. But please come talk to me if you need it, you've been really spacey today." She turns back to Reid and Morgan and you know she's right, you've barely contributed to the case. You urge yourself to push it to the back of your mind, moving closer to the screen in order to actually help them analyze the behavior.

"These two are the unsubs?" You point to the two people on the screen that are seemingly controlling everything. Morgan nods.

"Okay.. so his body language is somewhat of an alpha male, which would make her the submissive partner. But she doesn't look to him for reassurance at all." You narrow your eyes. "Zoom in there. She's checking her phone, she must have another partner on the outside. A real dominant figure." You deduce, watching the live feed closely.

"Maybe she's not planning to get out of there alive, maybe she's planning to sacrifice herself and unknowingly sacrifice the 'partner' in there with her for her real partner." Morgan looks between you all. Prentiss stands up and goes to Hotch and Rossi, filling them in on your new discovery.

That seems to be exactly what the team needed. Rossi managed to successfully drive a wedge between the two unsubs which allowed SWAT to enter through the back door and infiltrate the situation. However, the woman didn't go down without a fight and a member of SWAT had to kill her once she threatened the life of one of the hostages with her gun. That left the whole team with an uneasy feeling, you still didn't know who the outside partner was and you had a feeling this wasn't the last bank robbery turned hostage situation you would have to deal with. In a way, you were all happy to be heading home in time for dinner time. The partner trail was bound to run a little cold for a while but there was no doubt you would find him eventually.

You all made your way back to the office to finish up on paperwork and reports for previous cases, seemingly, everyone had gotten a little left behind in the paperwork department. Once you all got to work, it didn't take as long as anticipated and you all helped Aaron with his paperwork so everyone could go home at the same time, somewhat early. You had managed to put Justin and the creepy texts to the back of your mind for now, work had a way of making you forget about other things. As you all make your way to the elevators, you see a blonde, slim woman waiting outside the glass doors that lead to the bullpen. She stands up when she sees you all walking out. Rossi immediately looks at Aaron and Aaron freezes, this is the point at which you got confused, looking between the woman and the other team members. Rossi looked guilty. An awkward silence rang out for a lot longer than it should've before Aaron spoke.

"Haley?" He stared at the woman as you looked between the two of them, confused. You can see Emily looking at the woman, Haley, before she speaks. It seems as though she was focused on her visitors badge.

"Haley... Hotchner?" Prentiss seemed scared to say it out loud, and the second the name left her lips, your heart quickened. You turn to look at the woman.

"Hotchner.. as in..?" You don't want to say it, you don't want to believe it. You actually don't even want to think about it.

"Yes. And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR THIS .... i just know y'all are gonna hate me a little bit at least, i know i'm evil.
> 
> i had hoped to get this chapter out earlier but life got in the way yet again! i'm so sorry. the next few chapters ( at least ) will be angst central and i'm going to leave songs that the chapters are based on in the chapter name so make sure you give them a little play as you read ;) it helps the atmosphere..
> 
> i love you all so much and thank you for 1000 hits on AO3!! i still can't quite believe that, please keep up the comments and all the support it keeps me motivated and forces me to update at least once a week!


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